“Soap and Mirrors"
(or "Espuma y Espejos ["Foam and Mirrors"])
or "Foam" or “The
Eve of St. George”
by
Joseph W. Kopsick
A warm, lively wind swept across the plains. It was a lonely Thursday evening, in the middle of January in 1935 – before the Great Trouble – in the sleepy hamlet of Almohada. The Feast of St. Agnes was fast approaching.
In the rectory of the local Catholic parish high school, Padre Salvatore Sábado sat preparing his plans for the remainder of his teaching semester. These included lessons on the liturgy, and the skills and values necessary to start a family.
Naturally - with some of the students planning to join the priesthood, and others wishing to remain laymen and marry - their interest in the reading material often had to compete for attention against their interest in one another.
Father Sábado needed to find a way to get his studying nuns and priests, and his overly talkative students aspiring to marry, to focus on both sets of material. He also needed to plan the class's field trip for St. George's Day, in April, just two weeks before the seniors would graduate and come into the adult world.
He resolved to make it unforgettable.
_________________________
The next morning, before his students began their weekend, Padre Sábado asked the class, “Who can tell me the significance of the Feast of St. Agnes, coming up this weekend?”
The arm of Maria Elena, studying to become a nun, darted high into the air. He called on her. “It is a feast to honor the life and sacrifice of the martyr St. Agnes of Rome.” She adjusted her large, thick-rimmed glasses with a single forefinger.
“Very good, Sister Maria. And can anyone tell me the meaning of the Eve of St. Agnes, celebrated on the previous evening?” No answer came. “Nobody?”
Finally he explained. “St. Agnes of Rome is celebrated as a patron saint of women, and of children, and of their protection. She is also a 'Heavenly Match-Maker' of sorts!”
He leaned in, towards where most of the girls sat, and began to whisper: “Young ladies who pray to God through St. Agnes, on the evening before her feast, will meet their soul mate. All you have to do is stand at your mirror and say his name, while reciting the rosary, and offering an oblation to St. Agnes.”
The students, especially the girls, were astonished and enthralled. Each sought out immediately, prattling on with one another about for whom they would pray. The studying nuns, even, were scandalized, but fascinated! A heavenly matchmaker? And the Holy Mother Church approved? Who could have known!?
_________________________
Father Sábado's plan worked perfectly.
The girls returned from the Feast of St. Agnes weekend, better friends with one another than ever before. And the laiety and the studying priests began to socialize with one another more often, as all of the students had something to talk about.
The subjects of love and religion were finally being taught in conjunction with one another, as Christ intended.
This enabled the laymen to see a purpose for their religious studies, while the studying nuns and priests came to see the purpose for some students to refrain from entering the clergy. For if all men were priests, as Brother Francis noted, the human race could not continue.
_________________________
“Who can tell me the significance of the Feast of St. George?”
Maria Elena's hand shot upwards. “Someone else, this time”, said Father Sábado. “Come on!”
Roberto hesitantly lifted his hand into the air. “Was he the dragon dude?” The class snickered.
“Alright, none of that”, snipped the priest. He paused and began to pace the room. “St. George is a patron saint of the military, and one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers. He is also the patron saint of Catalonia and Aragon. And yes, Roberto, he is often depicted as slaying a dragon.”
He took a long breath and sighed. “...Sister Maria, would you mind telling us the meaning of the Feast of St. George?”
“Um... it's a holiday in April when men and women exchange gifts of books and flowers... to commemorate St. George?”
“Good, good. And class, do you know how we celebrate the Eve of St. George?” A hush filled the room.
“With a field trip to Barcelona!” The students cheered.
“Now, now-”, he said, calming the class down, “This will be a studying field trip, almost a pilgrimage of sorts. By day we will be visiting cathedrals, learning history, and assisting local charities to give alms from the Church. At night you'll all be staying at a hotel.”
The students were thrilled. Roberto lifted his hand and piped up: “But what about the Eve of St. George? Is there a ceremony? Do we have to give an offering?”
“You'll all be filled-in when we get there. As for now, the priests and nuns are dismissed for lunch. Everyone else please stay for one extra minute; I just need one simple question answered. None of you are in trouble.”
The students laughed. The priests and nuns chatted as they shuffled out.
“Remember that this field trip is from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon. Please remember to save your Saturday!”
The door slammed closed. The priest grabbed a pen and paper from off his desk.
“And also, please, boys, remember to bring a rose for your love. Girls, again, you will bring the gift of a book for the one you admire.” Some of them took a note down, others merely nodded.
“I know that some of you have already begun dating-” Some students gasped. “I repeat, you are not in trouble. Remember what I taught you about St. Agnes and St. Frances.” The class calmed down.
“I
need you to tell me - in confidence, as your teacher - whether any of
you are planning to marry. Or, if you are not yet, I need to know if
there is anyone in the class whom you like.” His
students giggled.
“Please write your name and theirs onto a
small sheet of paper, and place it face-down on your desk. Ask me to
be excused, individually, when you are done, and I will collect it
and allow you go to lunch.”
The students complied.
_________________________
That Friday night, at his home, on the outskirts of town, Father Salvatore Sábado sat, smoking a pipe, laughing quietly to himself, as he planned the hotel accommodations and lodging arrangements for his students.
“I'm going to need a lot more shaving cream.”
_________________________
The Feast of St. George weekend finally arrived.
After parting with their suitcases in the hotel lobby that Saturday afternoon, the students toured cathedrals and gave alms. They arrived back at the hotel that evening, tired, to a curious sight: the mirrors in their bathrooms were not only so large that they covered the entire walls; they were also covered with white foam!
While
setting up her beauty accessories at the bathroom vanity, Sister Maria Elena's hand came close to a corner of the mirror that had no lather upon it (which she supposed was
shaving lather).
When her pinky finger errantly touched upon the mirror, she noticed that there was no gap between her finger and its reflection. Maria Elena thought this quite strange; where there would usually be a pane of glass, between the reflective part of the mirror and its surface, there was nothing.
And so, she mentioned it to the other
nuns, who were all sleeping together in the same room. They thought
nothing of it, however, and instead they flocked around the letter which
Father Sábado
had left for them on the bathroom counter (of which he had left a copy in each and every room):
“Before midnight, stand at the mirror, and pray to God through St. George.
Right before the stroke of midnight, make yourself as naked as the day God made you.
Then light two candles, place them near the mirror, and then brush away the foam.
Then - if you are pure of heart - the one who loves you the most will appear to you."
As instructed, so each student did.
And they were so excited, at the chance of meeting their soul mate (or their Creator) that, by the time Sunday arrived, some of them scarcely noticed - through the wall of thick foam - that what was in front of them was no mirror at all, but a simple pane of glass.
And that is why, directly after the stroke of midnight, on the Feast of St. George, in April 1935, a thunderous, shattering applause was heard all throughout that hotel in Barcelona, although not a single cloud was in the sky.
The sound was of crackling glass.
For, to each student, the sight of their true lover through the mirror, was too overwhelming and heavenly, to greet with anything other than that thunder.
And then, the sound that came next: “Oh, God! Oh, God!, Oh, God!”
_________________________
And while all this was going on, Padre Salvatore Sábado reclined innocently on the sofa, in the room opposite Maria Elena and the other nuns.
While
he innocently chomped on his cigar and downed his whiskey, Father
Sábado
gazed upon Maria's beauty unespied.
Standing there, with all the
others, they shed their clothes, their faith in God, and their
innocence, all at once.
As a peace overcame Father Sábado, Father Sábado overcame himself. Finally, there was some foam on his side of the mirror.
He bolted upwards, spilling some of his drink.
“Oh fuck, parent-teacher conferences!”
The End
_________________________
Happy Eve of St. Agnes from Joe Kopsick
Inspired by the "Bloody Mary" ritual,
"The Eve of St. Agnes" by John Keats,
and also either an unknown Spanish folk tale, and/or a dream
Written on January 20th and 21st, 2021
Published on January 21st, 2021
Edited on January 22nd, 2021,
and March 23rd and 25th, 2022
Cover added on February 10th, 2021
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