Appreciating Your Possessions: Extending Faith Through Extending Credit

     Another moonth is upon us, just as the Jungian shadow of the Moon is upon the Earth every forthwith and forthwhence. If time is money, then it's money for another lesson. But first, what have we learned thus far?

     That, though your cracked subconscious be flawed, it and its master are of the utmost value, almost as if they were holey. That you must choose your possessions wisely, and possess them as would a ghost, or else they shall possess you. That spiritual appreciation is the source of financial appreciation; of appreciation in value. That the source of value is the meaning of your name: it is like Hanson Enhancing the Value of the Ensign.

     To be not fooled by claims that “witchcraft” is itself a “source” of value; it is but an intermediary, a midwife and witness to the Birth of Value. The Cherishing Technique^TM is as a divining rod, pointing us in the direction of The Source. Full ownership of yourself requires that you exploit the scarcity of your Unique, and redeem yourself – and the very sweat of your brow - for cash!

     To invest and extend credit is to invest and extend faith, that to put stock in your beliefs is how to take maximum advantage of your leverage. By choosing a living currency – one backed by time, and which is pierced, can be tethered, and keeps as current as the waters – we may procure a currency that works for us, instead of the other way around. Only then may we find a currency suitable for assisting us to work for one another, and for a wage other than death.

     To numismance the stone is to get through the Eye of the Rai. We mustn't fuck holes in ourselves by worshiping Mammon; instead, we must fuck those holes in order to sacrifice the hole for the whole of the donut. To do this is to see the Spiritual Light through the lens of the Eternal Bagel, to prevent the Moon from growing/glowing/growling/glowering red with blood mooney. It is to use the Moon as our spectacles, not as a spectacle, nor as a spectre.

     Only through the Cherishing Technique^TM may we save ourselves from losing sight of the (w)hole in the Donut. For the donut is the pierced blood cell which is at the root of all existence, and thus the root of all living value. To see the Black Hole Son, the Day Religion and the Night Religion, and the Cosmic Clock Theory (and its corresponding time=money system) verily, we must Fuck With a Sigil.

     Also, double your value by killing your doppelgänger.

     This much we know for sure.

     And that is why we must blow a hole in the Moon.

     We cannot fit into the hands of God unless you put a hole in there first. Similarly, if we, our money, our god, and our Moon do not have holes in them, then they cannot be tethered down, and the Heavens can Spirit them away. The Moon is the last of these four to remain whole; thus, it must become hole for the cosmic coin-counter to be complete. This is how you keep your value Earth-bound. For if the Moon has a hole, then it can be tied to the Earth.

     Oh, also, we're gonna blow a hole in the Earth.

     The Discordians evidently believe that all value derives from 2 and 3. It has apparently escaped their notice that 0 is the source of 1, and thus, the source of all value and values. Their numerology is like a god that someone forgot to properly tie down at the hitching post. We must teach the Discordians how to return the favor which 0 gave to 1; by annihilating the 1, by adding a negative 1. It is in this way that by adding a hole to a barrel, we decrease its weight, though we add something to it. Again, think negative space, think Mustard Seed.

     I'm sure you think you need a hole in the Moon and the Earth like you need a hole in your hand, but have ye not heard it said that “Cleanliness is next to godliness”? As this is true, we must be wary, for our “money” is unclean in so many ways, as has been elaborynthmiated previously. And also, that “portability is next to trackability”?

     Though itchy money be a wolf's bane, rejoice! For, fortunately for you, portability, durability, divisibility, fungibility, induplicability, rarity, stability, and trackability are also next to godliness! Though a cloned Christ, or a cloned you, be duplicable, take heart! For this exempts you - saves you - from being used like a currency!

     Just as well, redeemability in real assets; effort involved in creation; high purchasing power, and service as a unit of accounting, medium exchange, and real store of value, are next to godliness. All of these are like theology; they are Like a Prayer.

     If mankind is to be redeemed, then it must be redeemed in real assets. But if that's so, then given that cows (also known as beef-apples) were one of the earliest forms of currency – being that their value derives from their mobility, their ability to self-replicate, and, just like the Chinese tea brick, the ability to be eaten as food in an emergency - what is to prevent us from taking them as Sacred Cows? From treating them as Golden Bulls, instead of gold bullion? From crucifying mankind upon a Cross of Beef? I've got no beef with them!

     We all know that the buillon cube is a portable, divided unit of accounting on the beef stock market. But cubes are not the shape for buillon which God hath ordained. Nay, the proper shape is the shape of the Moon. But are the Moon and Earth shaped as we believe?

     We can start with what we know for certain: first, that We^TM Live^TM Inside^TM the^TM Earth^TM. It may take a Moonatic to explain, but we can infer from this that the Earth is a hollow disk. Those who doubt will ask, “Why, though the Earth seem flat from one perspective, from another it appear round as the disk of the Son?” But true believers will know that this is the result of the Earth being shaped like a nickel; and upon this nickel I shall build my Church. And just as the Earth is shaped like a nickel, so too is the Moon.

     The Earth goes 'round the Moon, just as naturally as the Moon goes around the Son. Everything revolves around the Son, just ask one of his followers. We celebrate Eostre, of course, by remembering that the Son hatched like an egg. Why? Because the Moon, just like God, is an egg. And just like the egg, God, and we His children, the Moon shall one day crack.

     Looking into the Eye of the Rai will afford us the Name. And the Name of the Rai is fei; Fay who say “they fill up slots with little things they find in space”. Our little Earth is but a nickel in the slot of a great cosmic slot machine, the plaything of some alien or deity who fashions zimself some sort of pinball wizard. And when the Earth and Moon have holes, they can be threaded with string. And if God can tie a string through his coins, then when God goes to play pinball, He can Get His Money Back.

     Just like the rai, and your god, you too must die while being brought to Shore. Or else, while helping others reach the shore. So the greater becomes the heroic tale of your money-carrying, Christ-carrying journey. And thus, the rai appreciate, while themselves being appreciated. As you are precious, so too are you appreciated. Although this sensing sentience - this touching feeling – is the root of the subject-object confusion, it is also its resolution.

     The only way to intellectually appreciate your possession - “your” god – is to poke a hole in it. It shows inquisitiveness; to poke a hole in it is to challenge it. And God always appreciates a challenge or a bet.

     Ye have heard it said that “He who does not work, neither shall he eat”. But from whom cometh this quote? St. Paul, of blessed memory, yes, and the Jamestown settlers, but also Lenin. What if you do as God commands, and walk around eating like a bird? Isn't it an assault on the freedom of worship to require a license for that?

     What is the purpose of a left-vs.-right divide on economic issues, when the “money” we all use is of no value to begin with? One side values labor and believes the Earth round, while the other values capital and believes the Earth flat. Reconciliation only becomes possible when currency stops being impossible; and that can only be done through alchemy.

     Just as “property is impossible” - since a society can't have property norms without either a state or unanimous agreement – currency is impossible. How can you hold a society's monetary norms together without either a standing army, or else mass psychology? Believe the Oculus, not the ochlocracy.

     As you will recall, Milton Friedman remarked that myth – that is, unquestioned, unverified superstition – is the most important element in a society's monetary system.

     A myth sets up the basis of an economic system, and thus a monetary system. As in the Cahokia Mounds, when a society chooses to spend hundreds of years building something – to help a warlord, or as tribute to a god – then its economy inevitably revolves around that. Just as well, its currency will be based on whichever resource occurs naturally in the area and has the popularity to become a durable form of currency for some amount of time.

     In his analysis of rai, Friedman rightfully avoided value judgments. But had Friedman concluded his research with a shamanic recommendation – like that we rip the cow's heart out before turning it into money, in order to boost the value of our beef-disks; or perhaps that we ought to eat our money to gain its purchasing power – then he could have made his observations that myth matters most in monetary matters more moving. ...By the way, do that.

     Why didn't Friedman ever shake a stick that had shrunken heads dangling from it, so the jaws open and close as the stick shakes up and down? Ludwig von Mises may be to blame. Ludwig von Mises (rhymes with “Jesus”) said, “Economics must not be relegated to classrooms and statistical offices, and must not be left to esoteric circles.”

     And so, the free-marketer flat-Earthist must ask himself, why didn't Friedman ever notice his disagreement with Mises? Surely you can't have a coherent economic theory (and corresponding monetary cosmology) if one of your theorists believes that myth is essential to economics, while another believes that economics “must not be left to esoteric circles”? Blasphemy!

     Esoteric circles ought to determine everything! If indeed the Chaos Theory of Value is the key to overcumming the Power Theory of Value, then it must support a currency which is, like USD, truly a cum-oddity. For as we splurge with it, we splooge upon it. Therefore, only qualified alchemists may do monetary theory.

     Fortunately, there's a little more thinking going on about this subject on the Left.

     Labor leader Big Bill Heywood said, “The mine owners did not find the gold, they did not mine the gold, they did not mill the gold, but by some weird alchemy all the gold belonged to them!” Heywood alone spies the alchymical marriage which is necessary to spawn a healthy new monetary system.

     While Heywood understands the importance of alchemy in establishing a monetary system the best out of all those considered herein, Karl Marx comes close, and certainly bests Friedman. That's because Marx said, “The less you eat, drink, and buy books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public house; the less you think, love theorise, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you save – the greater becomes the treasure which neither moths nor rust will devour – your capital.”

     Just as Lenin echoed the Christian settlers at Jamestown and the Christian St. Paul, Marx echoed Christ's exhortation in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:19). And we pretend that there is any purpose for the left-vs.-right divide on religious matters, let alone the economic and the monetary! Why divide people according to their values, when you can divide your currency into equally valuable Moon-units!? Only when moonetary matters are settled, may Jamestown, Russia, or the Kingdom of God - or the tab, for that matter - be settled.

     If you read your Bible, you'll know that God always speaks in capital letters. He calls Himself YHWH, and I AM, like a pissed-off internet troll. Why does He do this? To show people the Meaning of His Word, which is the source of all value in the universe.

     Speaking in tongues wouldn't even have occurred to us if not for God! He's the 0ne who taught us to ritualistically induce ecstatic trance, so that we generate new words! Think of how many more words you could capitalize on, if you also trademarked the CAPITALIZED versions of the divine but apparently meaningless utterances that you generate during trance states! Think of the prophets you'll rake in!

     Marx knew this just as well; for his advice shows that he understood the importance of not only capital and myth in creating value, but also of capitalizing on what you say, so that you don't have to capitalize what you say.

     For the Earth, too, shall crack like an egg. But that shouldn't mean that your money has to as well.

     Roll those nickels, God wants to play another round.

Written on April 15^th and 16^th, 2018
Edited on May 2nd, 4th, and 11th, 2018

Originally Published on April 16^th, 2018