What if Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David are Pedophiles?

      The following text is an excerpt from my February 2021 article "Twenty-One Politicians and Celebrities Who May Be Indian R.S.S. Agents", which can be read at the following link:

     http://aquarianagrarian.blogspot.com/2021/02/thirteen-politicians-and-celebrities.html

     The discussion of Jerry Seinfeld's and Larry David's possible pedophilia, was included in that article, as part of exploring which actors have both worked with Aziz Ansari and either made pedophilic jokes or have had sex scandals.

     Jerry Seinfeld was thirty-eight years old when he began dating 17-year-old Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss. They met some time in either 1992 or 1993.

     The 48th, 50^th, 51^st, and 56^th episodes of Seinfeld, which were aired around the same time, all featured jokes about either pedophilia, a possible reference to childhood in sex talk, or wanting to have sex with a virgin. The 48th episode is "The Cheever Letters", the 50th episode is “The Virgin”, the 51st is “The Contest”, and the 56th is “The Shoes”.

     In "The Cheever Letters", Jerry's girlfriend Sandra leaves his apartment after Sandra was talking about her panties, and Jerry replied, "You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?" This is revealed during a conversation with George, about Jerry's "dirty talk". Jerry declines to explain to George why he mentioned Sandra's mother during dirty talk. It's possible that the Jerry character was trying to infantilize Sandra, or get her to try "age play". "The Cheever Letters" episode was written by Larry David.
     http://seinfeld.fandom.com/wiki/The_Cheever_Letters

     In “The Virgin”, Frasier's Jane Leeves plays Marla Penny, an adult woman in her late 20s or early 30s who is still a virgin. The sexual frustration which Jerry experiences in the “Virgin” episode, leads to the following episode, “The Contest”, also featuring Leeves. That episode, which is one of the best-known and most popular episode in the show's history, was about the four main characters entering into a betting game to see who can go the longest without having sex. In the series finale, Marla Penny actually testifies in court about how horrified she was when she found out about this game, which Jerry was playing while he was dating her. But focusing on the “Contest” episode: during that episode, there is a scene in which Jerry tries to distract himself from how pent-up (and, presumably, horny) he is. He does so by calling his mother on the phone while watching the children's cartoon show Tiny Toons. While watching the show, Jerry sings along to the song “The Wheels on the Bus (Go 'Round and 'Round)”. This may not be a direct joke at the expense of child sex crime victim, but it is certainly a juxtaposition of children and sex which is intended to get laughs. If it is not pedophilic, then it is at least insensitive, and shows that the writers can't think of anything to distract Jerry that doesn't have to do with child-like things.

     Speaking of child-like things, not only does the real Jerry date teenagers while the fake Jerry dates virgins; the fake Jerry is an immature adult who basically has the mind of a child. He spends all his time making stupid, pointless observations, and talking about nothing, and making jokes all the time. Like a child does. He also eats and talks about cereal all the time, and Superman either appears as a figurine or is mentioned in nearly every single episode. I don't know whether it says anything about real Jerry, but fake Jerry has obviously not grown up yet.

     In “The Shoes”, George stares down the blouse of a teenage girl. George Costanza, played by Jason Alexander, risked losing a job opportunity after television producer Russell Dalrymple (played by Bob Balaban) caught him staring down the blouse of the young girl in his office. That young girl was played by Brooke Shields when she was 21 or 22. It was revealed that the young girl character was not only just 15 years old, but also Dalrymple's daughter.

     All of this means that Seinfeld broadcast four episodes about either pedophilia, reference to childhood in the bedroom, or wanting to have sex with a virgin, within the five-month span of time between late October 1992 and February 1993.

     Think about how pathological that is. Seinfeld had just begun dating a 17-year-old girl, and I'm sure there were probably people who thought it was creepy. If there were, and their opinion got back to Jerry and Larry David, they probably just said “Let's put it in the show! We can make jokes about it!” They were probably trying to “nip things in the bud” by making jokes about having sex with virgins, to get the audience accustomed to laughing about jokes that include both the topic of children or virginity and the topic of sex. The Marla Penny character is visibly in her thirties, and not a teenager, but it's hard to avoid wondering whether the “The Virgin” character, and episode, may have been influenced by the fact that Jerry was dating a teenage girl at the time.

     It's also noteworthy that the character of George Costanza is based on Larry David, the producer of Seinfeld. We might wonder whether George's experience – almost losing a job opportunity for getting caught staring down a female's shirt – could have been based on something that happened to Larry David. Maybe it was even a teenage girl, and/or the daughter of a producer. You know what they say: “Life imitates art, and art imitates life.”

     Maybe Larry David is a pedophile! Let's look at some more facts.

     When Larry David hosted Saturday Night Live, he made a joke about Harvey Weinstein, in which the punch line involved a Jewish rapist trying to get laid in a concentration camp, harassing other Holocaust victims imprisoned there. That was wildly insensitive, but it didn't have to do with children. However, later in the episode, Larry David appeared alongside sitting U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders in yet another sketch about an incident of mass death, the Titanic sinking. In that sketch, Larry David played a Titanic passenger who tried to steal a lifeboat from a boy, which was reserved for women and children only. David's character shouts that the boy is, in fact, a man, and that he could see the boy's “happy trail”, a reference to pubic hair.

     Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David obviously consider the juxtaposition of children and sex to be a laughing matter. None of this information may directly suggest that they are attracted to small children, but it's probable that they are attracted to teenage girls and have no problem joking about it in a very public manner.

     It turns out that Seinfeld isn't about “nothing” after all! For a few years there, I thought it was about food, such as cereals; or perhaps Superman. I guess it's about pedophilia!

Excerpt originally written on February 4th, 2021,
and published incomplete on February 4th, 2021

Edited and Expanded on February 4th, 9th,
14th, and 16th, 2021

Introduction to this article written on March 1st, 2021

Published on March 1st, 2021