The Pharaohs were right again, there is a war coming!
That’s right, a war is brewing – in
a pyramid-shaped brewery, no less – between currencies. This is not a mere
battle between coins and paper, but one between very currencies and moneys themselves!
This being anything other than a
game of rock-paper-scissors, the John Nashes among us can return from our
C.I.A.-backed drawing boards (or, rather, conspiracy webs). I mean, let’s not
kid ourselves, we have a faith-based currency. Fiat currency is literally
backed by say-so.
Thus, it is not socio-cultural
convention that dictates the value of the USD; it is power. From time
immemorial, currencies have always been backed by power, from the labor conditions
that accompanied the mining of currencies’ materials, to the conditions which
brought about the widespread acceptance (“accept”
being the operative word) of the currency.
Nobody begs for currency (except when
they do; really, except when they need
to). It was always power that gave value to these worthless little unpossessed
trinkets (unpossessed in both senses
of the word) in our pockets. That’s why ours must be a monetary theory
predicated upon the veracity of the Power Theory of Value.
Most of us view currencies and
moneys as having a distinction and/or a difference, but the waxing crescent
will soon reveal where our real values lie. This is why our masterless masters
tell us; money is a real store of value, while currency is a representation.
Currency is a symbol, a spectre, a spook, a phantasm, a dybbuk; it has no real value in and of itself. And
just like a dybbuk
or a vampire, or Jesus or God, it cannot come in – cannot receive
your value,
your credit, your belief – unless you invite
it in.
That is, unless the currency you use is living.
This is why how much money you get
for your work, and what you spend your money on, are less valuable than what
your choice of money (or currency) is in the first place.
I mean, if you conduct all of your
transactions in wampum, you’re not
going to be very successful unless you only trade with the Seneca and the
Onondaga, or you want to move a lot of quahog shells in general. Or beaver
pelts, for that matter; both make excellent currencies. All I’m saying is that
resource-backed currencies are making a comeback, I’m not trying to make any
value judgments.
Now it’s time to make some value
judgments.
The truly best way to game the system is
to make it your 40-hours-a-week business to decide how much each currency is
worth relative to the others. That’s how European banking dynasties have always
kept it in the black. And they’re Knights Exemplars of business ethics, for
fuck’s sake.
The lessons of Hephaestus (the god of
metals) are thus clear: understand the price of money, and buy and sell money.
Buy money with money, it’s solid
investment advice!
As you may remember from the last time
(or the last piece; really, the last timepiece, the real Holder of Value, the
real Keeper of Records, the real Signifier
of Honor), it is a most pressing issue in today’s economy as to whether moneys
and currencies derive their value from nature or from nurture.
Answering this question will be the key
to discovery as to which forms of currency and money are based on power,
violence, and intimidation.
I believe that a
lunar currency will ultimately prove a more durable store of value, but that’s
beside the point. This is not Sinfowars, neither is it No-Spin-Zone-Fo-Wars;
this is pure competitive currency, the realm of numismatic pataphilosophy to
which we must all eventually surrender.
But surrender we must to the
subconscious realm of pure speculation. For ours is an economy based on faith,
speculation, game, grime, gift, grift, and gank. That is, especially,
speculation in land; this is why
Geonomics must be synthesized with Geomancy.
Putting stock in your beliefs means investing in your beliefs.
If (for example) a hob-goblin who
practices hoodoo tells you-doo that two-two is gonna win you the craps game,
don’t think of it in terms of a cost-benefit analysis, or as a matter of wise
or unwise investments. It’s all in the risk.
Use the hob-goblin as an avatar of
Mammon, and use numerology to deconstruct the number 22 into its relevant values
and meanings. If the angels are in the cards, play the goblin. If not, justify
things according to your caprice; just let it ride.
The fundamental theorems of welfare
economics tell us that one of the conditions for totally free markets (that is,
perfect competition and fully interconnected markets) entails total freedom to
bet on future states of affairs, as long as the bets are backed up 100% by
existing assets.
So an economy based on gambling (in
addition to game) is still potentially in the cards.
As Emperor Ryan taught us, “Don’t bet the house, be the house.”
Lord Petyr, too, taught that you must be
willing to risk everything you have for everything you want. This is why we
must gamble our lives away, for a chance at money, a chance at fame, a chance
at immortality, a chance at our 15 minutes in the bacon grease. There Are No
Masters Through Meyers.
And Greg, may he rest in peace, imparted
that, essentially: bubbles, and volatility in markets and of currencies, affect
only those who invest in them. This is why booze, strippers, and craps make for
promising short-term fiduciary stratagema.
In the long term, invest in death. For
an underdog, long-shot, or short-sell, buy immortality.
But this eclipses the wider point: Why
use USD – a national currency covered in stripper sweat, trace amounts of feces
and human skin, and toxic chemicals – when you could use a currency made of human skin? I’m not talking
about soylent leather-cheques, those are so
last recession season. I’m talkin’ about good old Uncle Charlie Manskin, you
Prudent investors.
Hookers and blow, too, are
recession-proof (and certainly depression-proof).
This is what Greg has taught us, Put a Bird Upon Him (pbuh). That’s why you
should hedge your bets with bush. Additionally, spending other people’s money counts as
short selling.
But yea, you can vote yourself richer; by voting with your wallet, while you
vote with your feet, as long as you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, hold
on to your immigration papers, and bereave
in yourself!
George said the only thing that makes
him not a Pope is that billions of people don’t think he is. Likewise, David
taught that the Pope could walk into a casino, call the wrong number at craps,
and still walk away with billions of dollars, claiming infallibility.
This much we know to be true. But where
do we go from here, knowing that money is the root of all evil, and that it’s
impossible to serve two gods?
We must demand either a
lunar-time-backed currency, or else at least a lunar calendar, as a compromise
with the lunatic proles fringe.
I mean, literally (and I mean the word
“literally” literally) billions of people know that time and money have a
certain level of equivalence with one another. Almost as many believe, rightly,
that there are 383 ½ days, divided into 13 months, in a year.
But few understand that – while the
solar system is a clock that works off of a 64-multiplying-fractal-/-cyclical-linear
historiological-astrological-symbolic repetition pattern, going backward from
the Singularity point in the morning of December 21st, 2012, at the
cusp of the Piscean and Aquarian Ages – the Moon plays a demiurgic role in
calibrating the ticking-and-talking of the Universe. And this is not just
McKenna’s clockwork gnomes talking, this is some straight-up Anaxagoras shit.
How do you make money? Four words:
“Distrust but independently verify”. But the question remains: how do you (the reader) gamble in a casino that
doesn’t accept moon-based currencies, communion wafers, tokens that aren’t completely useless as fetishes, or Manskin? There’s no use beating around the
hedge fund, I’ll spare you the buckskin euphemism.
The Cosmic Clock Theory allows us to
foresee the mass use of TimeIsMoney @s
a currency. The Cincinnati Time Store, and “labor-hour” currencies (such as
MountainHours), all demonstrate that time is a source of value which can viably
back currency. This is especially so when we consider the Holographic Universe
Theory’s notion that black holes may store information.
That’s why keeping up on your
historiological astrological symbolism will help make sure you’ll be In The
Mooney®, and stay there.
The monetary policy on which we have set
a course is one anchored in a solid foundation of hoodoo microeconomics, voodoo
macroeconomics, and Moonie world trade theory. It is a sound, freeing,
open-source theory, backed by standardized units of human bread.
As Rosa suggested: no bread, no man, no
work. If we do not eat (“eat”, not “work”,
nor “spend”), we die. Work is but an opportunistic middleman, for Hannah also
said that work is distinct from action and labor. We work to earn money that we
would otherwise not have to spend, if we did not “need” all the things that
those who work us require of us.
Remember, need is distinct from want. Satisfaction
of base needs is necessary to sustain the adequate bodily health needed to
support hard work, and no employer ever compensated a new hire to the tune of
the value of all the things he had to buy in order to get his shit together
well enough to go about applying for a job.
A monetary policy that takes none of
this into consideration will rightly suffer from a battery of attacks, and
wither and die. This is why our currency must be alive.
That is what is meant by Human Bread. It
is the Doe that brings us back to Dough.
You must choose a currency (or a money,
or none); I cannot choose it for you. But I recommend that you choose a
currency that is current; its
circulation must flow freely. Volatility is a quality of water; it is not
solely a state of turmoil. That’s what the spend-o-crats at Fox Business won’t
tell you (F=6 O=60 X=600). You know sometimes words have two meanings.
So, you see, finance is all about water.
What makes up 70% of our bodies? Water. We’re literally made of money! And what
controls the tides? The Moon. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!
Stay away from currencies that won’t
give you the time of day. If your currency doesn’t keep current, you’re gonna
have such a bad time that you won’t even know what time it is. But using a
living currency helps prevent your choice in currency from going stale.
Read your handprints and follow the Economicon:
Worship no dead moneys. Use not currencies of the past; currencies that do not keep current know no lunar calendar, know no compromise.
It then follows that human time –
especially time expending effort and work (and especially especially effort and work watching and moonitoring the
Moon) – is a source of time-money-Moon-value. It is this theory of (e)valuation
which alone may knock the Power Theory of Value off its orbit and into relative
retrograde.
Don’t be fooled, Moon Money Israel. Talk of objective and intrinsic
value balks - Fairuza balks - saunters into a crevice, and yields at the majesty of the Will of
each splendid Unique. Your Jewels are the most precious to you, they cannot be
reduced to mere numbers.
The Neoliberals who endorse this foodoo
(false hoodoo) would not bear the thorns of haggling in terms of pieces of
silver, or communion wafers (or, for that matter, Nilla Wafers, as long as
they’re properly ordained). I mean, does Andy Warhol have no say in this whatsoever?
If the Body of Christ could be traded
around like that 2,000 years ago, then why can’t today’s money-changers get in on such a fortuitous investment
opportunity? Corporate welfare whores, get in on this action. Act now: kill the
Church, and scrap it for parts to sell! Go dig your graves, then fill your mouth with all the money you will save!
So, then, what is meant by a truly living currency of Human Manna (i.e., Humana)? Should we suffer anything
less than a currency whose value is inversely proportionate to the human suffering which caused it,
expressed in easily divisible economic units as quantities of blood, sweat, and
tears?
Do we own ourselves, and our toil? What
is the value of a pound of flesh, expressed in GBP? Most importantly, are the
medical professionals who conduct our pre-employment piss-tests making money
selling our urine, hair, cheek swabs, and other pieces of us that harbor DNA?
Take solace, for questions are meant
to be answered.
Written on August 14th, 2017
Edited on September 14th, 2017,
and January 17th and May 11th, 2018
