2. List
3. Conclusion
1. Introduction
The following is a list of fifty-four one-time sketches and recurring sketches, which have been put on by the N.B.C. show Saturday Night Live, and poke fun at either pedophilia, incest, or both.
To the show's credit, some of these jokes about pedophilia and child molestation were unobjectionable, such as Norm MacDonald's jokes on Weekend Update that scorned Michael Jackson by constantly reminding the audience that Jackson was a pedophile. But the vast majority of them were of questionable taste.
2. List
1. The opening monologue from the episode from the early 1990s which was hosted by Rob Lowe shortly after he made a sex tape with a 16-year-old girl when he was 23 or 24 years old. In the opening monologue, Lowe spoke with Lorne Michaels, Kevin Nealon, and Victoria Jackson, about whether he could survive the scandal. During the monologue, Lowe called the sex tape the best thing that had ever happened to his career.
9. A sketch from a 1988 episode, hosted by John Larroquette, in which Al Franken appears on Weekend Update as Lyndon LaRouche. As LaRouche, Franken ridicules LaRouche as someone who believes in conspiracy theories that involve child molesters.
10. A sketch from the mid-1990s, featuring Jim Breuer and David Koechner, as an assembly of men who are eagerly awaiting the publication of that year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. The men sing a song about the swimsuit models, whose lyrics include a question about whether a certain model would "pose with her daughter".
11. Another sketch about the swimsuit edition featured supermodel Paulina Porizkova and two actual teenage boys. Porizkova is shown promoting the issue while standing behind the two boys as they read it. The episode was hosted by Bronson Pinchot.
12. A 2013 fake commercial for language learning software Rosetta Stone featured Will Forte as someone's who's learning Thai and planning to go to Thailand "for a thing". The Thai phrases used in that sketch are phrases one would use when buying a prostitute. The country is notorious for underage prostitution, so there's no telling whether the deliberately veiled references to prostitution could refer to child sex slavery in particular.
13. A 1997 sketch in which host Claire Danes played the Peter Pan character Tinkerbell. In the sketch, Tinkerbell tells Wendy (a child) to stay away from Peter Pan because Tinkerbell "own"s him. Tinkerbell calls Wendy "whore", "slut", "tramp", and "bitch" during the sketch.
14. Two sketches from 2014 featured Aidy Bryant as "Tonker Bell", a foul-mouthed, rude half-sister of Tinkerbell. Tonker Bell makes sexual references to the Lost Boys in both sketches, and even confesses to having sex with a nine-year-old boy whom she thought was at least 22 because he was "tall". Tonker Bell talks about her mouse boyfriend in front of the children, and even mentions having sex with a had sex with a "tall". In response to James Franco's Captain Hook threatening to throw the children into the ocean, Tonker Bell responds "You're a freak and I like it", apparently deriving sexual gratification from the mention of murdering children.
In January 2018, Newsweek and Gawker published articles reporting that a woman from Scotland had accused Franco of trying to hook up with her through Instagram when she was seventeen years old. Franco has also been accused, by five actresses, of pressuring his former acting students into doing nude scenes.
[Note: Drake was criticized after teenage actress Millie Bobby Brown (of Stranger Things) revealed that she and Drake had been texting each other, including about boys.]
16. The "Disney Housewives" sketch features Nasim Pedrad as Jasmine from Aladdin saying that she "had sex with Iago", the parrot owned by evil sorcerer Jafar. She also refers to giving Aladdin a lap dance. Princess Jasmine is canonically 16 years old.
17. A 2019 sketch called "Cast List", which was cut for time, featured Will Ferrell as a high school drama director. In that sketch, Ferrell's character tells one of the students to have sex as an assignment.
18. A 2017 sketch which featured host James Franco reading the words in a spelling bee. Nearly all of the words are terms relating to someone sexually humiliating and emasculating their stepson.
19. Numerous sketches from 2013 feature Kristen Wiig as "Shana", a redheaded "bombshell" who flirts with male co-workers. Shana uses sexual innuendo which gradually becomes filthier and more explicit, including references to coprophilia (feces fetish).
20. A 2011 sketch featured Andy Samberg as the president of M.T.V., discussing the network's controversial show Skins. Samberg says that M.T.V. got in trouble for showing "fourth graders having sex" and violating "child pornography laws", which Samberg's character says while showing air-quotes with his hands. Next, a clip is shown of the retooled version of the show, now laden with product placements. The young characters discuss having sex and having a threesome. The sketch ends with one male character saying flatly, "I'm twelve".
35. In one of the recurring "Stefon" sketches on Weekend Update, Stefon (played by Bill Hader) talks about a club - which is presumably full of adults who are drinking and trying to find dates - that "has everything", including "a child", which he says before a long, awkward pause.
39. A sketch from the mid-1990s, which featured host Nathan Lane playing a nun, who walks around looking at art nudes, and saying the word "pubic" over and over again.
40. A sketch from the 2000s, starring Rachel Dratch and host Jennifer Aniston, in which the two women play Dickensian ragamuffins (i.e., children), features the young characters singing a song whose lyrics include "I'd decapitate a whore for you".
41. A recurring series of sketches, which featured Chris Kattan and Cheri Oteri as a couple who talked dirty to each other in front of their friends, included at least one sketch in which Kattan's and Oteri's characters called each other "daddy" and "mama".
42. The 2019 sketch “Bachelorette Party”, which features host Kit Harrington as a fiancée, stripping for his fiancée at her bachelorette party. One of the bachelorette’s friends is played by Melissa Villasenor, who spends the whole sketch leering at Harington (dressed in a skirt and pasties), but reveals at the very end of the sketch that she is his sister.
43. The 2014 sketch “He-Man and Lion-O”, starring host Chris Pratt and Ariana Grande, features Kyle Mooney as a young boy wishing upon his birthday cake candles for his He-Man and Lion-O dolls to come to life. They do, and soon after, discover the joys of masturbating. Pratt and Taran Killam play the dolls, who masturbate in front of the boy, before being propositioned for a four-way in a hot tub by the boy’s mother (played by Aidy Bryant).
44. The 2020 sketch “Sound of Music: Rolf and Liesl”, starring Cecily Strong as Liesl and host John Mulaney as Nazi envoy Rolf. The sketch features the pair singing “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” from the famous The Sound of Music musical (starring Julie Andrews), but puts a twist on the song. Rolf, based on Sound of Music character Rolf Gruber, was played by a 20-year-old actor in the film, named Dan Truhitte. But that fact didn’t stop S.N.L. from re-writing “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” to be about a thirty-eight-year-old Rolf hitting on the teenage Liesl. As a reminder, John Mulaney co-wrote the show’s “Stefon” sketches with Bill Hader, and is friends with pedophiles and Jeffrey Epstein associates Mick Jagger and Bill Clinton.
45. The 2017 sketch “Golden Ticket”, starring Kristen Stewart as Charlie (the boy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), features Stewart’s Charlie acknowledging that he has washed the “balls” of the old man with glasses who lies in bed with Charlie’s grandfather (both of whom are unable to walk). The old man responds that he didn’t ask Charlie to wash his balls, implying that Charlie (a minor) decided to do so himself. Just a few seconds later, Charlie makes reference to the old people “scissoring” each other in bed all day (i.e., having sex).
46. The 2015 S.N.L. music video “First Got Horny 2 U” features host Elizabeth Banks in a fictional band called “Infinity + 5” with cast members Cecily Strong, Vanessa Bayer, Aidy Bryant, and Kate McKinnon. “First Got Horny 2 U” features the women singing about teen heartthrobs, i.e., teenage boy celebrities, of the 1990s. These include Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Taylor Hanson (of the late 1990s family pop band Hanson), as well Erik Menendez (who killed his parents after his father raped him and his brother Lyle). Towards the end of the music video, the women are shown dressed as the teen or pre-teen versions of themselves, making out with posters of teen heartthrobs (including Menendez), and making gestures suggestive of masturbation.
47. The "Christmas elves" sketches from the 2010s - featuring Louis C.K., Kenan Thompson, Vanessa Bayer, and Ryan Gosling" - which involve the diminutive elves begging, in a seductive and sexually suggestive way, for Santa to "discipline" them. They even make mistakes on the job, on purpose, in order to fabricate excuses to beg Santa to "discipline" them (such as with spanking).
48. The 2017 music video for "Baby Steps" (or "The Baby Step") by Miley Cyrus. During the 2017 episode which Miley Cyrus hosted, she appeared in a music video for a song about "taking baby steps" - i.e., taking it slow - in a relationship. The sketch featured Miley - and other cast members, including Kenan Thompson - wearing diapers. At one point, Kenan begs Lorne Michaels for an answer as to why he is forcing the cast members to do such humiliating things while on the show. He gets no answer.
[Note: Miley Cyrus previously appeared in a diaper in a music video; for her 2015 song "BB Talk".]
49. The sketch from the late 1990s, which features Tim Meadows as "Jingleheimer Joe", the host of a children's show called "Jingleheimer Junction". Will Ferrell plays a character who wears a shirt with a large "F" on it, standing for friendship. He is introduced on the show, to the hosts's dismay, because the other characters have "U", "C", and "K" on their shirts, standing for unity, caring, and kindness. During the sketch, the show is briefly pulled off the air, because Ferrell's character keeps trying to join the other characters, spelling out the word "fuck" in front of the fictional show's audience of children. As if that weren't enough, the characters even break into song, saying "you can do it anywhere, in a park or on a chair, inside and outside."
50. The "Happy Smile Patrol" sketch from 1999, which featured host John Goodman, Chris Kattan, and Cheri Oteri as actors on a children's show called Happy Smile Patrol. The children's show is interrupted by a newscaster who reveals that the actors have all murdered each other, and that Oteri's character (who played "Glenda Giggles" on the fictional show) became a drug mule and negotiated sex acts with a customs official in exchange for her release from custody, before murdering that official. Each report about the actors joining cults, becoming criminals, and dying at the hands of the police, is followed by a happy "We now return to the Happy Smile Patrol", and a close-up of one of the cast members doing something silly and child-like.
51. The "Bill Brasky" sketches featured John Goodman, Will Ferrell, and other S.N.L. actors playing drunks in a bar. These sketches usually included one of the men drunkenly blurting out something personal and embarrassing about himself. In one of the "Bill Brasky" sketches, John Goodman's character suddenly tells everyone that he's a registered sex offender. In either the same sketch or a different "Brasky" sketch, Goodman's character blurts out "I masturbate to the Teletubbies".
52. The sketch from the 1990s which featured Chris Kattan as a redneck living in a trailer, who spends most of the sketch drinking and hitting on people who are related to him.
During the opening sketch, Drew walks into a room full of Not Ready for Primetime Players, and informs them that she was told that she could not "say any bad stuff". This line echoed a line previously said by one of the cast members, who specifically mentioned that Drew wasn't allowed to curse or mention sex. Before that sketch was over, seven-year-old Drew ordered a "double" alcoholic drink, because she's a Barrymore.
During the monologue, a male cast member asks Drew who she wants to marry, and she responds "Steven Spielberg". [Note: Some people suspect Steven Spielberg of being a pedophile, pointing to signs in his film Amblin, and to facts surrounding his proximity to the death of Poltergeist actress Heather o'Rourke, which was possibly the result of rape.]
During the E.T. sketch, Drew plays Gertie, her character from E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. In that sketch, Gertie reveals that she has killed E.T. with a baseball bat, saying "I killed the little sucker". During that sketch, Gertie's older brother Elliot uses the phrase "penis breath", a line which was said in the original movie. The Elliot character says "penis breath" despite the fact that the episode began with all of the actors acknowledging that seven-year-olds legally aren't allowed to work around people using curse words.
[Note: Saturday Night Live evidently preferred alcohol and sex jokes about seven-year-olds, over Andy Kaufman's off-beat brand of humor (designed to elicit a child-like sense of joy), so much that they needed to kick him off the show permanently, and stop caring whether he lived or died. During that 1982 episode which Drew Barrymore hosted, the players revealed the results of an audience phone-in poll, and revealed that Andy had been voted off of the show forever. Andy Kaufman died in poverty of liver cancer just two years later.]
3. Conclusion
So were the other fifty-three sets of sketches which focused on teen sexuality (and one of which even portrayed a child hitting on an adult) which followed the last of the three Uncle Roy sketches. The last Uncle Roy sketch aired in 1980.
Aside from the Drew Barrymore episode in 1982, S.N.L. went almost a good solid ten years without joking about pedophilia and teen sexuality much.
Then came the 1990s.
Rob Lowe's 1992 teen sex tape scandal (in which he engaged in sex with a 16-year-old girl in a state where it was then legal to do that). Lowe's ability to laugh at himself certainly saved his career, after the scandal had caused so much damage to his reputation that producers of Tommy Boy did not even include his name in the credits.
Lowe's sex tape scandal has gone largely forgotten, at least among the American public; however, his own son made a joke about it at an event in Hollywood.
Lowe's mockery of the sex he had with a 16-year-old girl, seems to have been Saturday Night Live's turning point, which indicated that it was diving head-first into a complete lack of self-consciousness; all the while maintaining the air of "edginess". Lowe kept this "edginess" going by donning blackface during that same episode, playing Arsenio Hall in an eight-minute sketch.
After Lowe's episode ended, and the "Spartans" and "Superstar" sketches began several years later, there was no turning back for S.N.L.. The show was now solidly about teen sexuality; or at least its two most popular sketches were.
It is evident from the "Spartans" and "Superstar" sketches, that this is all being done in the spirit of mocking the sexual repression promoted by culturally conservative politicians and Catholic school teachers. And it is perfectly reasonable to want to mock people who want to heap unnecessary levels of shame on teenagers who want to start dating and experimenting.
But too much defense of high school students' freedom to choose to start having sex - coupled with open mockery of anyone and everyone concerned about minors losing their virginity under dangerous or unwanted circumstances - risks turning teen sex into something even more dangerous than a secret. It turns it into a laughing matter, of which people must be ridiculed for being ashamed. This mindset renders rape as simply an unwanted version of something hilarious (i.e., sex). And how can something hilarious be bad, even when it's unwanted? The sex being unwanted just makes it humiliating, which is, again, hilarious.
Saturday Night Live reflects the mindset of the conservative liberal, and of its network, N.B.C., which is owned by General Electric (G.E.), a war profiteer that makes parts for the U.S. military. S.N.L. reflects a liberal-conservative mindset which enables war and conservatism by mocking conservatism in order to fund the war with ad revenue from the commercials that run during the show. With its liberal left hand, S.N.L. gives us the comedy news, wakes us up about a few things, and boosts a Democratic politician or two; and with its conservative right hand, it lets Donald Trump host after using anti-Hispanic tropes, funds G.E.'s war machine with its ads, and teaches us to laugh at children who are getting raped by adults (I'm talking about you, Cecily).
Let's put it this way: If the Uncle Roy sketches had never aired - and Buck Henry had instead done a public service announcement against incestuous child molestation on the show - then it would have accomplished the goal that the people of Saturday Night Live will claim that they wanted those sketches to accomplish. So joking about it - especially as much as they did - could only serve to compromise that narrative. The people at S.N.L. compromised the message - that child molesters deserved to be mocked because what they do is evil - and turned it into a message that child molesters deserve to be mocked rather than held accountable because anyone who opposes child molestation is stopping the fun.
You see, having a live television show with a covert, duplicitous political message, achieves one very important thing for the coastal elites who control the entertainment industry. Creating a live show where "anything can happen" blends reality with fiction. This makes the entire world into a potential part of the show, because the show could potentially be interrupted by messages from the president. That's not actually true, but it's true for all intents and purposes, because the show features numerous "live messages" from the president, and has even allowed presidential candidates to appear on the show and host.
And if the entire world is just part of S.N.L., then that means the whole world is something to laugh at. And anybody trying to hold people accountable for molesting children, is spoiling the fun. Essentially, they're interrupting the sketch.
What situation are you in now? Does it feel like a sketch? Well, it's supposed to be funny. So somebody needs to be laughing. Are you in a sad or traumatic situation? Tough shit. In the words of Peter Griffin, "Somebody throw a pie!" You're lucky to be on T.V., so be a good sport.
And remember what happened to Andy Kaufman: if there's a character you don't like, you can vote him off of the show. Just like on Survivor. And just like how the Greek jurors democratically decided to execute Socrates after threatening to kill his children and wife.
As William Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and the men and women merely players". [Note: This article was written and published on April 23rd, the anniversary of Shakespeare's death.]
Do you see, now, how we are all little pawns in Saturday Night Live's game? It is a show where fiction and fantasy take place within reality, with a laugh track. A show where people can be voted off and then mocked until they die of cancer.
We need to think about what this show is doing to our minds, and the way we perceive humor and even reality itself. It's time that we started thinking about live sketch comedy as a unique form of "reality TV".
If the people who write, and agree to appear in, these sketches, are not themselves pedophiles, then at the very least, they are mentally ill freaks, who cannot think of anything better to juxtapose against children for laughs, other than the sexual activity which children are not supposed to have.
Satyr-Day Night Live - or Satan Day Night Live - needs to be cancelled, and yesterday.
(written July 8th, 2021):
Unfortunately, in 2016, then President Barack Obama awarded Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels with the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
Finally, six of the above fifty-four sets of sketches, included Will Ferrell, who was a cast member from 1995 to 2002.
Several things that Will Ferrell has done, have caused researchers to question whether he is a member of a secret Hollywood pedophile elite.
The first was Ferrell's 2011 appearance at a Museum of Contemporary Art gala, which had him wearing a white lab coat, eating desserts shaped like human body parts, near a human-shaped, human-size cake laying in a bathtub full of blood. That "artwork" was designed by Marina Abramovic, a "performance artist" connected to James Alefantis and John Podesta. Some suspect that Abramovic is a Satanist, because her use of body fluids in her art could reference the occult ceremony of "spirit cooking". Also in attendance at the Museum of Contemporary Art gala, which Ferrell attended, include Jerry Brown, Debbie Harry, Gwen Stefani, and Deeta von Teese (the girlfriend of accused rapist Marilyn Manson).
The second thing Ferrell did which irked researchers' suspicion about his values, is the following "sketch" from The Chris Gethard Show, in which Ferrell performs a "ritual of the minds". This "ritual of the minds" is basically an occult birthing ritual, which Ferrell explained was a sort of prayer that The Chris Gethard Show would get better ratings. This clip was shown to Conan o'Brien's audience after it aired on Gethard's show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnkfBi7MYWM
Edited and Expanded on April 25th;
May 12th and 18th, 2021;
and July 8th and 16th, 2021
Title changed
(from "Saturday Night Live Has Aired at Least Thirty Sketches
That Made Light of Pedophilia and Incest"
on April 25th and May 18th, 2021
Post-Script Added on July 8th, 2021
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