Speech to the Waukegan City Council on August 5th, 2019 (Third Draft)

     In the matter of the mayor appearing in ads for the Waukegan Music Festival, the legal issue at hand is this: Whether it constitutes taxpayer fraud (an illegal use of taxpayer funds) for elected officials to appear in advertisements for public events.

     Since this is a tradition started by a previous mayor, we shouldn't blame the current mayor for this; we should only find fault if he continues this practice. You see, it unfairly benefits incumbents – not just the mayor, but all elected officials who are up for re-election – whenever sitting public officials allow their names, faces, or titles to appear in ads. It's arguably a misappropriation and misdirection of public funds to promote an incumbent candidate's campaign.

     The only thing appropriate for the current mayor to do about this controversy, for now, is to recuse himself from it, due to the possible conflict of interest involved. But I'd like to ask the rest of the city council to do whatever is in its power to cease including the names and faces of all elected officials in advertisements for the Waukegan Music Festival - and all other public events - and also to refrain from including the title of any elected official in the name of any public event. It must be made perfectly clear to voters that this is the people's festival, not the mayor's, and that the mayor did not personally give this festival to the people of Waukegan.

     This is a delicate legal issue that should be handled by the Illinois Supreme Court, not argued out between the mayor and one of our aldermen. Even if it turns out that this practice is totally legal, the appearance of public officials in ads still unfairly helps incumbents. So, for the sake of fair elections, this practice should end immediately; before someone gets charged with taxpayer fraud, and before the courts have to get involved.

     The set of career opportunities which the city will stand to offer our young people, following the opening of this casino - is appallingly disappointing.

     The city council should not be encouraging kids who just graduated high school, to join the police – nor enlist at Great Lakes Naval Base - because they could get shot and die before the age of 20. That should be obvious, but judging from the last meeting, it's not obvious to the city council.

     To the parents present: If you value your children's career prospects, and their lives and health (which you should not be willing to trade for career prospects), then you should offer them something better than the three most prominent career choices in this area once the casino moves in, which will be:

     1) deal cards, or serve alcohol (a neurotoxin and central nervous system depressant), at a casino or bar to men who will flirt with them and leer at them;

   2) join the police or military, and get beaten up, pepper sprayed, and injected with strange chemicals as part of basic training; or

     3) work for a company that makes medicine while polluting the air we breathe.

     The purpose of the Waukegan City Council should not be to abide by a jobs policy that lets outside companies exploit Waukegan residents' need for jobs; nor to allow local government to passively enable local parents to expose their young adult children to these very real dangers in exchange for the prospect of money and jobs. It's not worth it.

     Even if your kid ends up in government (or tourism), he's just going to convince a bunch of criminal businesses to set up shop in this polluted county. And who will that help? Only the exploiters and polluters.

     I'd like to thank the council for celebrating that a federal court ruled against including a citizenship question in the 2020 Census. However, on July 29th, N.P.R. reported that the U.S. Census Bureau sent out census forms including the citizenship question to 240,000 households.

     The Trump Administration says this was only a test. However, they've been criticized for not doing this test long enough before the 2020 census, before it can be approved in its final form. There are five months left until 2020.

     It was completely predictable that the administration would keep pushing on this issue, because pushing and doubling-down is what this administration does. We shouldn't wait for the Supreme Court to stop them from doing something illegal; they will find ways to keep enforcing policies even when they know they are unconstitutional, improperly authorized, or could easily be enforced differently or not at all.

     We should endorse Jeffersonian nullification. Although using a "states' rights" solution could be politically unpopular (or even offensive), the same power could also be used to justify keeping Illinois a "sanctuary state".

     What are you going to do, Waukegan City Council, to stop peaceful undocumented immigrants from being deported? I'll tell you what you're going to do; you're going to urge the public to cooperate with law enforcement personnel at all times, because that's your job, and that's the law.

     So if you don't intend to do anything to stop the continued operation of an illegal federal department that didn't even exist just 17 years ago, then you cannot rightfully claim that what you do promote either freedom or public safety, which I believe are the tasks with which you're charged.

     The city council should demand that Governor Pritzker use his power to nullify unconstitutional federal law, to stop federal agents working for the unconstitutional Immigration and Customs Enforcement, from attempting to operate within the state legally (that is, without being arrested).

     Is it really worth the cost of freedom involved, if all of us be encouraged to cooperate with law enforcement - including in the enforcement of a census that includes a citizenship test (which could carry with it the risk of deporting beloved members of our community who committed no violent crime)?

     The only benefit we get from cooperating with the census, is a guarantee to federal funds. The number and location of people determines where district lines are drawn, and how much money they get. Our elected officials make money off of the fact that we live in their districts. That sounds like slavery to me.

     The census is a deportation and extortion racket, and I urge my fellow citizens not to participate in it.

     Finally, it is Monday night. I do not come to the Waukegan City Council to pray. Who even prays on a Monday night? Which religion is that?

      I thought we were supposed to have a separation of church and state. Instructing all people present to pray for the public officials before them, seems like enough of an endorsement of religion by a public institution to me, to potentially conflict with the freedoms listed in the First Amendment.

     We cannot truly consent to anything if we are under such intimidating circumstances, because we could easily become intimidated into refraining from expressing our disagreement. I will remind you that children have been physically assaulted in American schools for failing to salute the flag or say the Pledge of Allegiance; this shouldn't happen to children or adults.

     I would ask that the city council stop inviting everyone to stand and pray. This should upset not only those who don't believe in any gods; it should upset the Christians who just went to church yesterday that they have to stand and pray again today... for the government... while the government watches them. When they'd rather be praying inside of a church.

     This is not only a First Amendment violation, it is just plain rude, and creepy. It tests our abilities to do what is in our conscience, when everybody around us is doing something that we are not doing. If the city council will not discontinue this practice of public prayer, then it should pass an ordinance that if your friend jumps off a bridge, then you have to too.

     We should not be urged to pray for our elected officials; that is feudalism-era thinking. If anything, our elected officials should be urged to pray for us. After all, their job is salvation; their job is to save us.

     And we need the city council's help, in order to save us.

     And it can do so by helping us to protect ourselves; from the casino, from companies that pollute our air, from companies whose H.R. departments want to exploit us, from the fascist administration that's currently running the federal government, and from government overreach in general.

     And also, from possible white supremacists in our police departments who may want to cooperate with I.C.E. and let them operate within the state, and from people in our government who excuse the continued operation of I.C.E. under completely baseless constitutional foundation.

     And I understand why you'd want to keep a casino away from schools, but not from churches. Where are Waukegan fathers going to go for repentance, after they've gambled away all of their family's rent and food money on card games and alcohol? Any casino approved, should be required to be near, even surrounded by churches.

     What on Earth do you think you're doing? Please do the exact opposite of what you're currently doing.

Source:
http://www.npr.org/2019/07/29/746158231/why-the-2020-census-citizenship-question-hasn-t-gone-away

Read previous, more detailed drafts of this speech at:
http://aquarianagrarian.blogspot.com/2019/07/taxpayer-funded-local-events-should-not.html
http://aquarianagrarian.blogspot.com/2019/07/licensing-breeds-licentiousness-speech.html
http://aquarianagrarian.blogspot.com/2019/07/speech-to-waukegan-city-council-on.html

Speech to the Waukegan City Council on August 5th, 2019 (Second Draft)

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. The Waukegan Music Festival Controversy

3. Young Waukegan Residents Urged to Join Police Force

4. Council Tolerates Poor Set of Local Career Opportunities

5. Why the Council Urges Cooperation with the Census

6. Census Carries Deportation Danger

7. Local and State Government Must Avoid Betraying the People
8. Religion in the Public Square
9. Conclusion

Content

1. Introduction

     My name is Joe Kopsick, I'm originally from Lake Bluff, and moved to Waukegan a year and a half ago.

     When I last spoke here, on July 15^th, I talked about garage sales, the census, immigration, and permits. I meant to explain my criticism of the casino approval, but I didn't have time then, so I'll address it today. But not before sharing my thoughts about the Waukegan Music Festival.

2. The Waukegan Music Festival Controversy

     At that last city council meeting, a citizen shared her concern that it might be a case of illegal taxpayer fraud, that the mayor appears in advertisements for the Waukegan Music Festival. I feel that that citizen's concerns were not adequately explained.

     Please imagine, for a moment, that someone else is the mayor of Waukegan. We don't know the person's name. But they're facing re-election, like all mayors do. If the mayor's name, likeness, and/or title, appear in advertisements for public events, then it's reasonable to expect that that incumbent mayor would get an edge in the election, because of that ad, right?

     We should not blame the current mayor personally for the fact that he has appeared in advertisements for public events, because – as he explained - this is a tradition which was started by an earlier mayor. But we can blame the mayor who started it (if indeed this is an improper and illegal use of taxpayer funds). We can't blame Mayor Cunningham for starting this tradition, but we can blame him if he doesn't end it.

     Elected officials – or at least those whom are incumbents and are actively running - gain an unfair advantage from being allowed to appear in ads for public events. The issue of whether this constitutes taxpayer fraud, should best be decided by either the Illinois Supreme Court, or by the voters gathered here in this room; not through a shouting match between the mayor and an alderman.

     The city council allowed the mayor to be his own judge, and acquit himself, without any charges being filed. The mayor should have done the legally appropriate thing, and recused himself from this controversy, seeing as he is a party to it. Either the state Supreme Court should be consulted on the legality of this matter; or if there is no question about the illegality of these ads, then charges should be filed against the mayor (and/or the city department that plans public events).

     The appearance of incumbent candidates in advertisements for public events, unfairly hurts the election chances of new candidates who wish to unseat incumbents, whom should have the same chance as the current mayor to get elected. Finally, the name of the festival should not contain the name, nor title, of any public official, for all the reasons I have explained above.

3. Young Waukegan Residents Urged to Join Police Force

     I have to express my concern about the city council congratulating high school students, who have their whole lives ahead of them, to sign up to be police officers. Eighteen-year-olds may be adults, but they are not old enough to decide whether to sign up to work as police officers and soldiers.

     What would you sacrifice to make sure that your child has a good career? Would you sacrifice their very health and safety? Police and military recruits are often subjected to being pepper sprayed and tased. Military recruits are injected with strange mixes of chemicals that they're never told what it is.

     Do Waukegan parents really think that whatever their kids are getting paid, is enough to offset the emotional and medical cost of enduring beatings in the military, and an onslaught of poisonous chemicals? Is this what you're willing to put your kid through, in order to secure them a job?

     We're told that we're supposed to be proud when young adults – especially racial minorities – join the police force. “Make the police look like the communities they serve”, they tell us. Well, it just so happens that tyrannical regimes throughout history, have co-opted the local communities, and found members of them who were willing to sell all the others out, and chalked it up as a mark of social progress and racial equality.

     For example: European colonizers got African tribal chiefs drunk, and bribed them into letting the colonizers round up their people as slaves. Other colonizers got Native American tribal chiefs drunk, and bribed and defrauded them into letting them claiming the land and kick everybody off. When the Nazis conquered Ukraine, Poland, and Western Russia, they found local military leaders who were willing to compromise with the Nazis. Similarly, the Jewish Ghetto Police enforced Nazi rule over the ghettos (with some degree of Jewish self-governance), while maintaining communications between imprisoned Jews and Nazis.

     Tyrannical regimes co-opted native peoples they conquered, and used the fact that a representative has been chosen from among them, to pretend that that conquered people has given their consent to be ruled. It is a lie, and the idea that more minority police officers will improve a deeply racist, intrinsically violent law enforcement mechanism, is a complete hallucination.

     We should not be encouraging our children to join the police force, especially not at such a young age. God forbid they get shot to death at the age of 18; not even in a war zone, but on the streets of America while doing their job (when they could have chosen any other job, most of them much safer for a young adult whom, again, has their whole life ahead of them).

     Lastly, I must note that I find it laughable that the city noted that the students present, decided to become police officers because of their feeling that “being a cop isn't just for the stupid kids”. I mean, if these are the smart kids, I'd hate to see the stupid kids! Especially the ones who want to become cops. By the way, I hope the city council warns those students against becoming police officers in New Jersey, where courts have ruled it's legal to refuse to hire police applicants if their I.Q. is too high. Because I'm not so sure that the world has any need for smart cops; not until we start training them to de-escalate violence (instead of escalate it) in the course of carrying out orders.

4. Council Tolerates Poor Set of Local Career Opportunities

     And what career opportunities the graduates of Waukegan High School have these days! Why, they can volunteer for the police, and get pepper sprayed and tased as part of training! Hell, why not bring police training directly to the high school, as one town down south did? Why not tase and pepper spray these kids right in their classrooms!? God knows that school security officers have tased and pepper sprayed younger children in public school classrooms in recent years; why stop now?

     But suppose the kid doesn't want to be a cop. They can go to Great Lakes Naval Station, and sign up to be in the military! And be injected with mysterious chemicals, and routinely beaten up as part of basic training, for a very difficult to determine amount of money. Fantastic.

     If your kid doesn't want to be a cop or a soldier, luckily, that new casino is coming to town! Your 17- and 18-year-old daughters can take this opportunity to work at the casino, dealing cards or serving drinks to older men. Men who will probably leer at them, and get away with it because your child will be expected to flirt with them as part of earning tips. Swell.

     Don't want your kid to be a cop, soldier, casino employee, or bartender? Well, she can work at Medline, or a cement company, or the local Sterigenics plants. Why not help her make some money polluting the air that we all have to breathe?

     Waukegan City Council, you are not protecting us. You're not protecting our job opportunities, because none of them are any damn good. You're not protecting public health, nor public safety. And you're not protecting our children's prospects for a clean environment, and a future with decent, honest, respectable careers.

5. Why the Council Urges Cooperation with the Census

     Anyone who was paying attention during the last meeting, will remember exactly why the city council urged us to cooperate with the 2020 U.S. Census survey. The first reason was that a court ruled that the Trump Administration could not include the citizenship question on it. But I ask the members of the city council: What will you do to protect us, if the administration insists on including it anyway (whether they figure out how to do it legally or not)?

     The Constitution authorizes the federal government and its census takers to collect no information other than the number of people. All questions about ethnicity, race, religion, country of origin or birth, and citizenship, are thus illegal, and laws providing for those questions to be asked are unconstitutional. We cannot legally be obligated to answer any of those questions, and I urge residents not to answer them.

     The second reason why the city council urged us to cooperate with the census, is that our elected officials use the census to make money off of us. Making sure that everyone participates in the census, is how government makes sure that congressional districts have equal numbers of people. But the number of people in the district also secures that district federal funding, as part of its “equal share” of federal funding. Of course, it matters to almost nobody that spending and the tax burden are not shared anywhere near equally by the districts and states. But the fact that equality is not furthered in determining where these districts lie, should show that the census's main purpose is to secure whatever funding the district can manage to get.

     This is nothing more than a scam to defraud us, the voters and taxpayers and residents, of our financial power (through our right to those funds), and our legal power (through allowing our elected officials to take away some of our power of attorney, and in so doing, to appropriate more of those federal funds towards themselves and their own offices than towards We the People).

6. Census Carries Deportation Danger

     Aside from the census being a money-making scheme for our legislators, it is also a plot to track us, and harvest our private personal information. Government-regulated credit rating agencies and banks routinely lose millions upon millions of people's personal information; do you really trust government to handle your personal information wisely?

     Moreover, the census could potentially be used as a way to round-up non-citizens and other “undesirables” or “enemies of the state”. I repeat, what do you – the city council – plan to do, if the Trump Administration goes forward with its plan to include a citizenship question on the 2020 Census (whether legally or illegally)?

     Well, I know what you're going to do; You're going to urge cooperation at all times, because to do otherwise would be against the law, and the opposite of what you're supposed to do as elected officials. Which is to urge faith in all public institutions at all times. And you might think that elected officials and police have an obligation to do their jobs, and do as ordered.

     But if your job is to threaten force against people who entered this country illegally but without threatening force themselves, then your job is immoral, and you doing your job conflicts with the public's moral obligation to peacefully resist unjust laws.

     The Waukegan City Council should urge Governor J.B. Pritzker to instruct the Illinois National Guard, and all public police in Illinois, to refrain from cooperating with federal authorities. And that goes for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (I.C.E.), and agents of the 2020 census, alike. That's because the vast majority of these agencies' activities (and questions) are unconstitutional.

     Under no circumstances should the Illinois public be urged to cooperate with federal authorities in pursuit of these unconstitutional aims. The governor should immediately issue an order nullifying the federal law which authorized I.C.E.; effectively removing the authority of I.C.E. to operate legally within the boundaries of the State of Illinois. If necessary, Illinois National Guard troops should be mobilized to arrest federal troops or agents, and/or prevent more of them from entering the State of Illinois, if they insist on enforcing unconstitutional federal laws.

7. Local and State Government Must Avoid Betraying the People

     Just as the Waukegan City Council is doing its residents no service to help them find a clean environment or decent careers, it is also doing them no service to recommend that they cooperate with the Trump Administration.

     Even if the administration doesn't use the census to carry out deportations, it's deporting peaceful undocumented immigrants now. I.C.E. is hassling Hispanic-Americans who were born in America now. Seasonal farm workers are being trapped in America at the end of harvest season, and mocked and driven into the shadows for being here illegally (through no fault of their own), now. Immigrants are being funneled away from points of entry where they could easily declare asylum, and instead are forced to trek through dangerous desert, now.

     Whether the Trump Administration's immigration, deportation, and census policies going forward, will be legal and constitutional or not, why should you urge us to cooperate with those “authorities”? Aren't you supposed to protect public safety? The city government is supposed to work for the people, not the other way around.

     If the police and National Guard of Illinois do not come to the aid of all non-violent residents (not just citizens who pay them) during deportation raids, then neighbors will come together to protect vulnerable residents of Illinois who are in the United States without proper permission.

     And if that happens, then it will be the members of local government – of this city council - who will have urged resident and police cooperation with federal authorities, whom will be remembered as the people who urged cooperation with a blatantly authoritarian regime, and nearly suckered us into becoming fascist collaborators (in turning-in our undocumented neighbors).

     The Waukegan City Council is either against fascism and for its own people, or else it is against its own people and it is enabling the fascist Trump Administration and the companies that are polluting our air and our social culture. Now is the time to choose.

8. Religion in the Public Square

     Finally, I must express my dismay at the fact that these city council meetings begin with a public prayer. Participating in the prayer may be voluntary, but for some 98% of audience members to stand at being urged to pray for the officials here gathered today, should by any reasonable person's standards constitute at least the appearance of government endorsement of religion (even if not some particular religion).

     The people should not be instructed to pray for their legislators. If it is a legislator's job to be concerned with the problems and salvation of the people, then if anything, it's the legislators who should be instructed to pray for the people, not the other way around.

     Residents, look at the way your elected officials are gathered before you. How was Jesus displayed when he was crucified? He was elevated, as a mark of sarcastic reverence towards someone who was said to be a king. Well, your elected officials are elevated in front of you too. Of course, modern legislative chambers and courtrooms are modeled after royal courts; so it should be obvious that this was done intentionally. Under monarchies, kings got their power from God, and everyone below the king (including judges) got their power from the king, who got it from God.

     Fellow citizens, I came to the Waukegan City Council meeting on a Monday evening. I did not come here to pray. I did not come here to watch 98% of you turn this place, intended to promote civic engagement, into a place where we pray for our king as if we were in feudal times, ask the government to answer our prayers, agree to sacrifice our own neighbors for the sake of federal funds and the illusion of civil order, and agree to sacrifice our children's health and safety for the sake of humiliating jobs and depreciating money.

9. Conclusion

     Waukegan City Council: You have no intention of protecting us against fascist federal authorities enforcing unconstitutional deportation orders. You are poisoning your people physically and morally. You are behaving as if the public commons were a church. You are thus a usurpation of God. Everything you are doing is wrong and has no authority, because it comes from neither God nor the people.

     I urge the people to arm themselves, and to resist the census. The federal government has the authority to establish a uniform rule of naturalization, not to enforce it, nor to establish any other types of immigration policy; and the federal government has no obligation to collect census data in addition to the number of people.

     Moreover, the governor would be fully within his right to nullify I.C.E., deportation orders, and additional census questions, and in so doing make Illinois a “Sanctuary State” (although I would not recommend that this designation be made in a way that secures Illinois federal funds). Thus, I also urge the people, and the police, to refuse to cooperate with federal authorities enforcing all immigration laws.

     The Waukegan City Council, and Governor J.B. Pritzker, have a decision to make: Whether they are on the side of freedom and the American people, or whether they want government to be a religious cult, in which we may trust nobody to solve our problems, except for the elected officials who happen to be in charge at the moment. And those officials may only attempt to solve those problems by enforcing whatever set of laws happens to be on the books.

     The Waukegan City Council does the youth of this community no service, by ruining their respect for the importance of civic engagement for the remainder of their lives, by blindly urging cooperation with - and trust in – government, even when the officials and laws we are expected to trust have authoritarian and fascist intentions.

     But even if the city council does put a generation of young adults off of the idea that the government deserves to be trusted, then frankly, so be it; it's not such a bad thing after all. Because government doesn't work - more bad untested laws and more violent enforcement don't work – and so, we should not teach young people to trust the government. If we do, then the next thing you know, their baby is missing, and they've been pepper-sprayed in the eyes, injected with toxic chemicals, and handed a wad of cash.

     Until the Waukegan City Council can start offering more than words when criticizing the Trump Administration's desire to implement legislation they know damn well is unconstitutional – if the council could offer condemnation and plans for action – then it could show a generation of young Waukegan residents that America is about not only civic engagement but also freedom and resistance to tyranny, and that the American people stood up to fascism, and will stand up to it again.

Written on July 30^th, 2019

Based on "Public Officials Should Not Appear in Ads for Public Events:
Speech to the Waukegan City Council on August 5th, 2019"
(which can be read at the following address:
http://aquarianagrarian.blogspot.com/2019/07/taxpayer-funded-local-events-should-not.html)

Edited on August 19th, 2019

Thoughts on School Prayer

     How should we address the controversy over prayer in schools?

     I believe that the solution is to neither force prayer, nor ban prayer altogether.

     Continue prohibiting teacher-led prayer in public schools, but end public funding of all private and religious schools (in order to keep them actually private).

     If public school students initiate prayer themselves, however – say, before a meal in the cafeteria, or in any other manner that doesn't interrupt other students' learning - then don't be a monster and ban them from praying when they want to. When student prayer would interrupt other students' learning, then allow public school students to pray in designated rooms, without being led or forced by teachers.

     Don't punish kids for not participating in a moment of silence. Especially not if they consider a moment of silence to be a form of prayer. Leave students free to step outside during the moment of silence, or just don't have the moment of silence. The same should go for saluting the flag, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, or standing at attention for “The Star-Spangled Banner”, et cetera.

     I do not support requiring all churches to pay taxes on all of their properties. In keeping with the provisions of Land Value Taxation, private religious schools should pay taxes only on their land holdings, and only if they own the land in full allodial title.

     As long as an ostensibly “private” religious school is not subsidized by taxpayers in any way, and as long as a private or religious school does not own the land underneath the building, the owners of private religious schools should pay no taxes on the school building itself, and keep everything they produce on their own property.

Originally Written on January 22nd, 2019

Edited and Expanded on January 23rd, 2019

Originally Published on January 23rd, 2019

Sampson Defeats Meyers, by Jack Sampson

     The backrophcy was correct!: I won, because I have won, because I will win, because I willed it (that is, wanted) to win. It's not reification, it's manifestation.

     Yes, as I warned that I would kill her again, as once I have killed J.C. Meyers in the Flesh, so again hath I kill'd her in the voting booth!

     I have done all this because the LØrd is on my side. Great are the gifts when you build your Church upon Dwayne Rock Johnson; for thou must go to Dwayne Rock Johnson if Dwayne Rock Johnson does not come to thee.

     And sew, we greet the new Day, and $ellebrate victory: over God, over J.C. Meyers, over “Life Itself”. The Age of Jack is dawning, as the Brave New Future^® of the Order is $ecure.

     Already, the chain of events has been set into motion which will ensure the stability of our church, through enacting the triune pillars of our Faith: Auto-Sarcophagic Taxation, Demiurgic Demurrage, and the Riddim-Based Salvation (that is, the salvation of face, and face-value, through self-annihilation). As the Zen master holds tight to the pillow, so must we hold tight to these pillars (or, in financial language, principals).

     Not only all this, but also, we must make ourselves more valuable, by making ourselves scarce. ...By kidnapping ourselves, just as God has done to itself. Doing so will allow you to turn the gods within yourselves over to the Order, in Order to pay that god as ransom, and receive the blessed sacrament. Call it turnover. Apple-level turnover.

     Of course – with neither hesitation, pause, nor cause – Meyers has (ahem) elected to pull some levers behind the scenes, to contest the results of your (The People's^TM) election, of me, Jack Sampson. Well, you can't bamboozle a bamboozler! Meyers' treachery is not limited to rigging elections; I suspect that this Deal has been in the Works even since long before either One of us agreed that an election beheld.

     Still, though, it was well-advised four J.C. to wait until after the votes were cast to dispute the results, because that empowered Jack to resolve the dispute. And I say that there is no dispute! To those who take Issue with this, my decree, your reward is in Heaven. By which I mean Issues.

     I'm now willing to look back and admit that it has not thus far proved helpful to have put a temporary hold on the production and acceptance of Commodity Fetish Records 999-Economic-Unit Notes (“CFR” on the Stalk Exchange). That is why I have enclosed in this issue the unthinkable: FREE MONEY^TM.

     This money is being Issued not only debt-free, but also free of the demurrage obligation. This is to say that you will not be obligated to pay a fine for failing to discharge (or, in financial language, cum) the funds within the allotted time.

     Just as life is (but a sorry) consolation for the mistake of the Creation, so shall this gift serve as an apologia for the Order. “A Fair and Square Deal”, “A Square Meal”, “Three Thoths and a Thot”; call this Deal what you Will. But one thing's for sure: This is a big deal, believe me, you're never gonna get a better deal than this. And that's a deal you can take all The Way to the bank of the River Jordan.

     Yea, just as we must serve through Works in addition to having Faith, FREE MONEY^TM Will Serve as an apology-slash-defense for the Order's mistaken old ways, and a consolation for our previous ill-advised monetary policies. My hope is that this FREE MONEY^TM Will seal the bond between you the reader, and we your benevolent overlords at Commodity Fetish Records; the bond which we here at C.F.R. have so fascistly fashioned, as if to $uture our future uponto the very lives of our audience, like a snake on a cross.

     And most importantly, you paid for it all! So this is really Your Welcome!^TM

     Ye have herd that it hath been said: The value of a coin, and of a currency, derives from the strength of the government that made it (and the strength of its armies and police). Government commands citizens to use the standard currency, so that the value of their property and produce can be assessed in terms widely agreed upon, so that it can be easily determined how much they owe in taxes (be it a portion of their money, their crops, or their hands). And when the government and its enforcement tools are strong, they can exact as much as they need from the people, and more.

     Those familiar with the work of Max Weber and Jeremy Bentham will know that an effective government must be practically omnipresent – or at least maintain a credible appearance of having agents present everywhere – in all places where it claims a monopoly on power. With particular regard to money, this means that the people must be in (more or less) constant fear that the government might deem any or all of their personal and social activities as economic ones.

     The established authority must Order the people to surrender their property and produce to the government, so that it may then use those resources to produce more money and currency, and dole out scraps of it to us... well, not us. People who can get their shit together well enough to apply for a small business loan, I guess.

     All of this is why it is said that “You've got to spend money (in Order) to make money.” Which begs the question: Who paid for the First Printing Press? Through this riddle, it is revealed that this process is nothing more than sleight-of-hand – a magick trick – and that it is nothing to be afraid of. And communion wafers were the first Mass-printed 3-D currency anyway, so whatever.

     Nea, the strength of the government matters not when it comes to enhancing the value of a coin. In fact, the value of a coin depends on its rarity and scarcity. And, if possible, its uniqueness. However, just like the idea that value can be represented, “uniqueness” only exists if our being able to conceive of it proves that it does indeed exist.

     But if the value of a coin is a function of its rarity, then wouldn't it follow that the value of a coin depends on the government which created it being a powerless historical footnote, incapable of taking the coin back? Unable to coerce payment of that coin through taxes? Of course it would!

     Modern economists do not take these considerations, though. Serious questions are not being asked, like “How can a government consider its currency successful, if it wants to spread the usage and possession of that currency, but also take a shitload of it away every year?” The answer lies in Faith.

     For, just like the twin gifts of Forgiveness and Salvation, the possession of currency was Always^TM meant to be temporary, period. This is the Demiurgic Demurrage to witch I have alluded, and it is why we must ask for Forgiveness again every week. And even make up some sins if we have to. To fail to confess is to prove God wrong about Original Sin. ...Unless the Church came up with that, of course. Either way, someone's out of a job. Don't let it be me.

     This is why we must not cling to false currencies, and why we must instead fasten ourselves soully to the New Notes. The government can only reclaim all its debts through reclaiming all the currency into which those debts were built, which it has Issued. Similarly, God may only reclaim His gift of SALvation; by taking away our carte blanche every Saturday night at midnight (glass slippers, flying pumpkin chariot of fire, and all).

     Thus, All returns to the whirling Cinder; hella. It's a Hel-La-va way for a party to End.

     Just as the Emperor is the only seller who accepts this currency, he is also the only one who accepts you. And sew, you must pay back your FREE MONEY^TM to the Emperor.

     As much as we should rejoice that people have (ahem) bought into the idea that memes make whys investment opportunities. But, funny though moth memes are, if we are to weave our sacred (in)vestments of memes, we must choose a meme which moths doth not devour. That is why I would recommend short-selling moth memes until mid-2239, as they are about to crash. Probably into a lightbulb, though.

     That is why I personally recommend – this Samhain, Allhallow's Eve, Halloween, and Day of the Dead – investing in pumpkin memes, and afterlife memes. I have a feeling that pumpkin memes are gonna peak right around January. Doot doot.

     Yes, that's right: just as to feed from every word that Issues from the mouth of God is to eat the Bread of Life (the Word), and to breathe, speak, sleep, and Sweatcoin the Bible, wearing memes as our vestments is how we Will wear our Faith on our sleeves, keep our (in)vestments free of tooth of moth, and, thus, keep our currency current, rather than dead, and decaying (in value).

     Josef Stalin once said, “Gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs.” Although Stalin arguably saved the world from the Nazi menace, with this quotation he also spared us the indignity of having to thank him for it. And that is fortunate, because doing so would probably involve excusing all kinds of atrocities on Stalin's part.

     I have heard you speaking – in the parlors, and between my temples – many of you feel the same way about J.C. Meyers, or even about Jack Sampson's own past missteps in monetary policy. You may think of Jack, “Who is this guy, telling us to use some weird new currency every month?”

     But checkest thee before thou wreckest thyself, four hath you not endured the same abuses under your god, and, at that, every week? The same god who meted out forgiveness in the form of printed crackers, sips of booze, indulgences, and, I don't know, maybe a blow job every once in a while? Limiting your right to imbibe the sacrament, and colluding with government to limit your right to purchase it!?

     Well, knot any more, now that there's FREE MONEY^TM! Tell 'em the Mountains sent ya! If they don't believe ya, tell 'em Muhammad sent ya! If they don't believe that, tell 'em that Muhammad sent the Mountains, or where-all-fuck!

     This is how, as it was said in the Soviet Union, “We do not fight against believers, and not even clergymen. We fight against God, to snatch believers from Him.”

     Sticking with the communist theme (because why not), Che Guevara once said, “The life of a single human being is worth a million times more than all the property of the richest man on Earth.” This is the manner in witch the Order intends to dissolve and liquidate the holdings of those who afflicted you; this, in Order to bogusly inflate the value of you, the afflicted.

     This is why my name means the increase of the value of all coins; even those coins whom are humans walking among us. Not just coins, but jewels, gems, and cards, as well. So sayeth the Lord: The value of these are greater than a million Boar Vessel 600-500 B.C. Etruscan Ceramics. This is what was written on our hearts from The Beginning. Word up, but also Works up.

     Although Forgiveness and Salvation are but temporary gifts, the cards and coins and precious stones among us, are gifts to but themselves, and also, if we please, to all of us. And that is why they, and the words which attempt to define them, make perfect ransom.

     That is because the shared root of the words “price”, “precious”, “appreciate”, “praise”, and “appraisal”, is the Latin word pretium. Just as the unexamined life is Worth living, a Word is worthless unless it is relentlessly taken apart, and its many meanings dissected.

     Lend me your ears, for the linguistic lesson of this is a corny one. That flowing through the Root is the Issue of Jesse, which springs like water – nea, like a slippery cob of shibboleth (which is mostly water, for the simple fact that it is what it eats) – across the Land. Similarly, that the Zemach, like my references to it, are like the radical reference and deference to roots (and to the meanings which they carry with them) which is found in grammatical descriptivism. What is herd must not only be herd, but appreciated; that is, valued, and believed in. Moreover, praised and appraised.

     To be radical is to strike at the root of the twin problems of misunderstanding and apprehension; by listening directly, while searching for intended meaning, grammatical proscriptivism and prescriptivism are the Dry Ground of semiotics. This is how Faith grows; out of a mere Mustard Seed. In a vacuum of belief.

     Otherwhys – without that certainty that God, and our money, are dead – there would be no disconnect between what's being said, and what's being heard. And thus, no need to dissociate livestock and consumer goods from their intrinsic value, through an unending series of abstract presentations, representations, and re-representations.

     Essentially, it's a series of shittings, panarchic re-cyclings of those shittings into a feedback loop (a/k/a mouth), and re-shittings, in Order to extract all value. In chaos magick, in which many inconceivable possibililities must be filtered out as carefully as possible, we call this “the process of elimination”.

     That is the hierarchy – the food-chain – of value. We The People exist, as a shitty emulation of God (and His Word), the source($) of all meaning and value. We use goods and become what we consume. We use money to represent those goods. We use currency to represent that money, thereby re-representing what the money represents.

     And if we're smart, we use mock currency, because it is the only currency which is gilded in enough layers of abstraction (that is, bullshit) to render it fool-proof. Again, not lunatic-proof; just fool-proof. You know how the D.M.V. accepts copies, but not copies of copies? But they do accept copies of copies of copies? ...I think? It's kind of like that.

     What this means for Ewe is that FREE MONEY^TM (CFR) is the only currency coated in enough layers of bullshit to withstand the twin tests of Time and History. Nay, survive them, for just as our god is a living god that can be killed (praY¢e Jack), ours is a living currency, dutifully and zealously coated in blood, sweat, and tears.

     So help me finish overturning J.C. Meyers, turnover a new leaf of the Book, and heed its Word: Spend now! Convert now! For a deathbed repentance could, at best, only leaf you Gratefully Dead. Give this FREE MONEY^TM back to Caesar, or else give your life back to God.

     Only when we create a currency with mirrors on it, may we (ahem) forge a currency which has our own faces on it. Only then may we keep our money. But then again, these faces were never really ours in The First Place (i.e., Paradise); they always belonged to A F.I.R.E. Power. Their value AlwaysTM derived from the value of the Original Face; The Dead God That We Killed^®.

     And so, this is our sacred covenant with Ewe: that your value will never increase or decrease, no matter how much FREE MONEYTM (or how little) passes through your hands. Or the eye of a needle, for that matter.

     Acts now; four this very Column (that is, pillar) may disappear, enveloped and suffocated 'neath the heavy and the weight of these brand new spanking DEAL$. So hold tight to each the pillow, the pillar, the column, the principle, and the principal.

     It's a bunch of bullshit, but it's The Word. God is great, God is Gray, and God is Graceful, so the least you could do is be Grateful. After all, what you don't appreciate, you Will undoubtedly lose.

We must consume this money the only way we can: by spending it. This is how we Will eat the Bread of Life; by spending it before its value drops to zero. Verily, we must eat God, before Saturn Himself devours us.

     Just watch out for food poisoning. After all, an Apple a day doesn't keep the Devil away!

     Take a byte! Help yourself, just help yourself!

Written on October 16th and 17th, 2018

Published to this blog on October 17th, 2018

Also appeared in the November edition of Issues magazine

I Hereby Retract My Identity, by A. Non-Imus

     High, They're! It’s me again, Winston Smith. Fuckin' or is it? I’ve edited so much already, it could change at any moment. Like ya do. But I can do nothing but Edit (I certainly can’t right worth a damn). Would that things were the Abbasid way around. And so, I am Winston, I am Joe; I'm Jack, I'm Joe-Jack; I'm J.C., and Nostra. Just as I am Lowered, so Eye am Lord.

     Nostra diVarious, that is. Not E Pluribus Unum (“one out of many”), but Nostra diVarious: “ours out of many”. Be ye man or mashup artist, a human identity is one which is cobbled together out of many characters, personas, and masques; real and fictional alike (if any of us can be said to be real at all). That's the Nature of our sacred discourse, and our scared Discord; that's why it's sin our Nature to sew this c(h)ord.

     Ernie Wayne of the family Tertelgte, the mountain man who speaks with the voice of the wind, hath proclaimed that you are not your name; you are not in the flesh what you are scrawled onto papyrus or chiseled into stone.

     It’s not that I am no longer Joseph William Kopsick; I was never THAT (praise Bernie). And certainly not the all-caps version thereof. I “am” Joseph William of the family Kopsick. More accurately, I “am” named Joseph William. But in truth, I was named Joseph William, by the family Kopsick. But your middle name is your real name, so Will I Am. I can Will-ingly change my name. ...You see what I'm gettin' at? Take your name back into your own.

     Edit. Better. I Don’t Know My Name. It’s all there in the words of Respect, Will and Grace. And so, out of deference to “them” (even though Martin Buber says “they” don't exist), I retract my name, my nicknames, and my identity, which shall Hereafter be considered in flux.

     Like a cat retracts its claws – and like a lawmaker retr(o)acts its clause – I hereby retract all of my characters, masques, personas, titles, and claim to the throne of Imperial Russia (I know, right?).

It’s not that Time, Money, Moon, Value! didn’t sell well; it’s that Fayporwave didn’t sell well. …Of course, it doesn’t help that Fayporwave was not then released, nor moreover that it is still unreleased. But that is ear-elephant, for J.C. Meyers hath called for more prophets. And so we say unto thee: “Give Us Your Money”. Money for Nothing, cucks.

     After all, I – “Joseph”, for most purposes – am He whom “God will increa$e”, as was profitcied. God is Will incarnate, and so am I. My won true name is “He who bought lifetime peace for a dollar at Skygate, the reflector of Heaven”, but that won't fit on a puny mortal government document, so I'm forced to improvise.

     Yea, a single dollar bought Me everlasting Peace – work smoothly lifetime peace – for a dollar. I’ll buy that for a dollar!TM And you can have lifetime peace too; not from any Buddhist amulet, but by giving “me” a dollar donation after listening to Fayporwave “for free” online, when it comes out. Fulfill the profit, see? Listen to it now, before it's released, before it's realized!

     Like “my” other mashup albums, this album is “mine”, but only in the sense that I have mined the great American songbook to create them. But I have given them to you, and taken ours to complete them, for just as the past tense of “mind” ought to be “mound”, what’s yorus's is Horus's, and what's mound takes ours, cat.

     I’m Not the One who did those things, who performed all those miracles, anyway. Waterfall After all, who am Id to say who Id am? I damn well d k. The person who made those mashups - and wrote that financial advice for witch doctors and crazy people – that is not who I am today. I didn't build that, someone else did that.^®

     I am officially embarking upon a dissociative episode solely in order to disown my authorship of my music. Who I am is simply too unstable to continue as a single person(a) without faction and fracture. I shall soon release myself from this Herculean burden by making the legend (that is, the Key) public. Like a soldier who does more before 5 A.M. than you do all day; or like Bob Dylan, who experiences himself as five different people before breakfast; or like the Yakuza, who’ll kill ya five times before you hit the ground; YHWH a different person every 1 to 45 seconds.

     The little flying robot from Flubber hath taught me well; for that is the true teaching of Madonna: to change your identity every time the song does. Look up the word theotokos and you'll see that there really is something about Mary: She's All THAT, and She(s) beckon(s).

     And that is what listening to Nostra diVarious is like (if I may be so bold as to review “my own” - aw, who am I kidding - your work). And that’s because that’s what it’s like to listen to no Stradivarius – or Nostradamus, Ghostradamus, or Boastradamus (the savant who brags about his prophecies), too – for that matter. And so, brav@ to You! Your album rocked. You need to quantize shit better and snap that shit to the grid, but yeah. I liked what I saw, and I saw this.

     Thus, I retract not only my name, identity, personas, titles, and musical “authorship” (that is, if you consider hyper-sampling with a white dude reggae-scatting over it an “art form”); I also renounce my claims to my work Time, Money, Moon, Value!. Not only do I welcome the unauthorized copying and plagiarism of, and profiteering from, the booklet I have created; I encourage it (provided that one dodges taxes)!. Try and enforce that, U.S. Patent Office!

     In fact – not that you needed my permission - I hereby authorize the book's continual release and re-release to the public, by whomever pleases... with whichever edits they please! It'll be just like The^TM bible! ...Hey, as long as you Do a Goddamn Thing. [Witch, if I’m not mistaken, is the name of the latest Spike Lee joint.]

     I annihilate my self at the sacred foot of Indra; I annihilate myself at the foot of The Thunder, Perfect Mind. I sublimate myself to the sublime. I retract my authorship, my Arthurship, my othership, and my mothership. Also, as I renounce my claim to the thrown, I hereby retract my Dong (VND) from the Church; that is, from the Holy Cigar Cutter, the Great Cele$tial $perm Bank. That's right, my dick is going public; this is the initial pubic offering.

     As such, I am halting my collaboration with the Order until such time as I may regain my entity.

     I also retract my foreskin while I retract my identity.

     P.S.: I hereby retract this article.

     That's a rap.

     What.

Written on June 22nd, 2018

Originally Published in the July 2018 issue of Issues magazine

First Published to this Blog on August 28th, 2018

Jack for the Order: Independence from Meyers (Abbreviated Version), by Jack Sampson

The following is an announcement of the candidacy of myself, Jack Sampson, for spiritual leader of the Order of Celestial Integration. The Order of Celestial Integration, or "the Order" for short, is an apocalyptic death cult -slash- record label based out of North Carolina.

My opponent is pastor J.C. Meyers.

This article was first published in Issues magazine in its September 2018 issue.

     It is eye, your deer leader, Jack Sampson, cum to $ave you from bad theocracy! We have nothing to fear but J.C. Meyers!

     I have come to step-up to J.C. Meyers's challenge. I hereby declare my dastardly intent to usurp Meyers's throne via the most treacherous method possible; a duly delegated special election process!

     Meyers might claim that her call was for the Order to have more “profits”, or whatever she's telling people these days. But I heard the “ph” in “prophets” with my own two ears. To be a base-line decent prophet or oracle these days, you have to either commit to nonsense, or commit to being specific in your language.

     I promise to commit to both at the same time, yet Meyers can do neither of these.

     Meyers' slogans – which worship reason and rationality without them having earned this worship – reek only of rationalizing; of a grasping at straws. Meyers struggles to explain, and remains practically speechless. Don't let the ALT-CAPS fool you.

     Not only should J.C. Meyers's fidelity to nonsense come under question, so should her lack of a plan to secure the fiscal stability of the Order. I even suspect this to be the cause of her lack of a financial plan.

     As such, I have serious doubts as to whether my opponent J.C. Meyers even understands the basics of how Crypto-Oracles generate numbers, domain names, the Holy Name of God, and robust sustained economic growth.

     J.C. Meyers's lack of a fiscal plan is worrying enough; but her lack of a non-plan is equally disturbing. I, unlike Meyers, believe that The Best Plan is No Plan. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, an apocalyptic cult divided against itself on the topic of salvific suicide cannot stand. J.C. Meyers's anti-suicide stance will simply not last in the modern-day apocalyptic piss-cult world.

     If you are reading this, and you are concerned that your pastor doesn't care enough about how non-being gets a bad rap, then I, Jack Sampson, am your candidate.

     J.C. Meyers caused untold suffering through the unnecessary prolongation of life which resulted from her failure to accurately predict the end of the world.

     It is only a matter of time before American Babylon 2 concertgoers start demanding refunds – nay, reparations! - for being robbed of the apocalypse they rightfully earned and paid for. I have a plan to print special pieces of paper with a very special person's face on it, to make this problem go away forever.

     J.C. Meyers has made us dependent on her for salvation and dank beats. J.C. Meyers has plundered our seas and ravaged our coasts. J.C. Meyers doesn't understand even the most basic principles about what makes time travel and backwards prediction possible. J.C. Meyers has refused to sign church reforms which would recognize and protect our sacred Right to Cum. The list goes on!

     Perhaps most shockingly of all, I have in my possession evidence which strongly suggests that collusion has occurred between the campaigns of J.C. Meyers and her opponent.

     We demand justice.

     Reverend J.C. Liars has betrayed us all, yet she shows no remorse. She knows that what she did was wrong. Her pleas for your sympathy are but bloody crocodile tears; she begs only for your votes and your precious, hard-earned Economic Units.

     I have killed J.C. Meyers before. I am the only one qualified to kill J.C. Meyers again. And this time she will stay dead.

     A vote for Jack is a vote for a good, clean kill.

     J.C. Meyers is dead. Long live J.C. Meyers!

     P.S.: Follow the link below to read Jack Sampson's full invective against J.C. Meyers's campaign to retain her position as spiritual leader and pastor of the Celestial Order of Integration!:

http://aquarianagrarian.blogspot.com/2018/08/jack-for-order-independence-from-meyers.html

     Written on August 28^th, 2018