The Aquarian Agrarian: May 2018

Like Big Bill Heywood and Milton Friedman, Karl Marx understood that all value created upon Land is created through the combination of labor, capital, and myth.

That's why Marx was apt to cite principles of Christian liberation theology in order to defend his profoundly theoskeptic ideas. The irony of this ought not escape the reader of Marxian thought, as elsewhere in his writing, Marx explained that religion can only be understood in the context of what social and economic purpose it serves.

And how true that is! I mean, if you're going to say that religion controls people, and claim that it replaces our ideals with its own ideals, and instills upon society a false reality and impossible expectations, then you might want to start with a nice hearty “I love Jesus”. I mean, Give Yourself Some Credit^TM! Lend yourself A Little B-Leaf (ALB).

As is etched into the Rock of Ages, “If you don't have anything gneiss to say, then don't carve any graven images on Tuesdays.” But why wait Til Tuesday to get The Rock you deserve? The Wailing Wall is the hardest part. Don't get caught between the Dome of Iraq and a hard place! Buy this Book; it says you qualify! Get right with God to make Him mollified!

All of this is to say, of course, that an economy which respects and reveres a mutual alchemy of ideas and a free exchange thereof, will not arise until The Phoenix does. The rebirth of The Phoenix is the rebirth of the ancient monetary system: the backing of currency by full reserves, natural resources, and/or a set of resources that can be consumed in an emergency.

So do God a Solid; use solid currency before you get sol(i)d yourself!

For the Sun of God is like the gold in Fort Knox: When you stick Him in the Vault, He disappears in three days or less. For the Source of His Value is backed by both His annihilation and His reification (1 → 0 and 0 → 1). This is the meaning of “Deus Vault”.

This “Missing God” – this wandering, disappearing trickster-magician-deity – is Our God. Our lack of Him – Our want of Him, Our longing for Him – is what keeps both Us and God coming back for more Turns and more Turnings.

Just like the three days between the Crucifixion and the Resurrection – when darkness washed over the land, and the people hung their heads in confusion and shame at the thought of what they might have done – so too have economists stood at the precipices of their economics books. Gazing at the abyssal-plain-meaning of the wor(l)ds assembled before them into a tidal pool of significance, they have pondered for centuries whether and when this Schrodinger's-Cat-like Christ will emerge; with His Thorny Crown of Doom, and His currency backed by the worry of human hands, with His map bearing directions to the golden treasure buried in the human heart, hidden in a Geraldoan vault full of empty (or perhaps just invisible) promises. It's all here in this pamphlet.

Just like some of us enjoy smoking, some of us enjoy our god poisoned and our rock stars dead. We all like our God cooked a little differently, and we all like to sit in different spots while we enjoy Him. And so, we lift a chalice: To each his zone! The cup is raised, the toast is made... yet again. Tomb rhymes with womb.

For if you seal the tomb too tightly, God will not be able to breathe. But if you don't seal the tomb – and The Mummy's wrappings – tightly enough, then the Celestial Accountant won't know that the parcel was supposed to remain intact. Instead, the Accountant will scrap the parcel into its constituent parts, and, like coins given to a bank instead of loaned, give them out to the people upon request.

If faith is a form of credit, then a priest is a spiritual banker, and a banker is a secular (or non-shamanized) priest.

Nowhere is this clearer than in the practices of the Juju priests of West Africa, who sacrifice animals and perform incantations in order to seal contracts. A woman who becomes a prostitute in order to pay off her debts might recruit one of these priests to bless their I.O.U., through offering up underwear, fingernail clippings, pubic hair, and menstrual blood (which otherwise would have been sent to a America for use in a feminist art project, or an Illuminati sacrifice at MoMA). To bind the woman to her covenant, the priest then binds the offerings into a bundle, blesses the bundle, and places it at a shrine, never to be moved. Just like the Gold In Fort Knox®, YHVH right!?

Like the Earth and “Universe” themselves, a currency is a work of Art, and as such, should appreciate, while itself being appreciated (dissolving the subject-object dichotomy). All Value and Meaning flow through these Celestial Accountant banker-priests; and We^TM should give them Indulgences. Remember: You Are Dog Shit^®, and until you pay tribute to the Dead God of Dead Money (Mammon), you cannot have your debts forgiven. It is impossible to serve two masters; therefore if thou cannot wholly, holey, and solely serve Mammon, then thou must serve only Meyers.

It seems wrong, but oddly enough, He hath commanded us to eat Him; God hath given us a cent. So don't throw the Cat out with the bath water; Garfield doesn't like Moon-days either. The Cat (Sphinx; immortality) will rise when The Phoenix (solid currency; God) rises, so sayeth the Book of Judie.

If the Sun of God is a betting man (and I wager She is), then She must have known how that tomb worked. You pay your money and you takes your choice. He knew how to wake Lazarus up inside! As the lead undertaker of existence, Jesus must have undertaken some effort in hedging His bets; must have made a Bushian “Deal With God”, as psychopompous as that Might sound. Maybe all He had to do was wiggle His big 2.

Christ up in the chrysalis like a womb-tomb-room. Butterfly saviors got they broom and they go zoom-boom.

That is what the Kingdom of God is like.

But therein lies the logic of economics: that there be no logic.

When words and numbers have been revealed as nothing – as ever-changing, mutable social constructs that blend into, up in, and out of one another – then their value is not only diluted, but also deluded. So too are their values confused, through the fact that words are numbers, which those of us familiar with gematria and numerology will comprehend.

And without alchemy and numerology, it is impossible for humans to overcome the conflicts between divisibility, duplicability, and rarity, which arise in attempting to ascertain which type of currency is likely to achieve the optimal balance of the characteristics which we desire a currency to have. And the duplicability paradox cannot be overcome while the currency continues to be backed by blood. Essentially, cloned money is counterfeit money. You are You; nothing can ¢hange that. You hear that? None of that Thomas Didymus, Jesus-had-a-twin crap.

This is to say that to adopt a subjective system of assigning value to goods and services, is to adopt the orphan Christ, and thus, it is to play the role of Joseph and God at once. For, though the Branches of His “family” (his adoptive father's lineage) be cursed, the Root of His claim to the Thrown remains embedded firmly in the zenith of the cupola of the Orb of the Firmament, held up by the Vault of the Heavens. So His claim is anchored in the Sky.

And so, sayeth the Christ-carrying Black Sheep, “Oh, thank you, little roots! Please stay strong.” It is like a Root growing out of dry ground, after seeds have been scattered by the wayside. The body (of Works) mattereth not; for the Will-Into-Existence of the Spirit makes the Flesh less weak. That's the difference between a spirit and a ghost; the ghost stays dead. Or so we have been led to B-leave.

But perhaps Christ, up on His Cross like a scarecrow erected to frighten demons away, is more like a bee stinger than a flower which Osho would caution us not to pluck. You can pick a peck of Princes of Heaven and put 'em in your pocket, but some poor Sap on a yellow brick road might lose his Way because he's been robbed of his handy, heavenly anointed weather-vane.

You don't need a whether-man to know which way the wind blows, but like Moses said, one man's staff is another man's weather. If, through His Cross, Christ is tethered to the Earth, then how is He to ascend to Heaven? This is why God sends the storms; to kick up the dust, to whip the soil and the water together into speechifying whirlwinds of cotton-candy-like Good Intentions^TM (humans).

But trying to use your ego to dissolve your ego is all fun and games until somebody loses an I. As the main recipient of the tribute and credit paid by a society, the divine figure at the helm is the most economically powerful member of society. But just as when a despot or tribal leader dies, his country becomes unstable; when that god dies, the currency becomes unstable, and the economy usually has to be totally restructured.

In a highly superstitious society, that could mean almost anything: the introduction of totally novel rituals, the introduction of ritual sacrifice, the resumption of sacrifices, the introduction of new gods, the syncretistic reconciliation of the religion of the conqueror with the religion of the conquered, the introduction of new moneys and currencies made from materials that were previously inaccessible, the cancellation of large-scale building projects (such as palaces, fortifications, and burial grounds or mounds), et cetera.

But most importantly of all, the economy will be restructured around the construction of large-scale building projects. Take churches and temples as another example. You see how long it's taking to build La Sagrada Familia? That's no accident, that's quite literally by design.

So if your church is the whole Earth... well, you see what I'm gettin' at.

Just as Proudhon said private property cannot survive without the assistance of the state; neither can an economy which is based on private property survive without the state. Similarly, in the absence of government force, God, myth, and superstition would be the only things powerful enough to hold an economy together. Simple changes in beliefs and values can go a long, long way towards changing our lives and changing the change in our pockets.

This is why the article “The Business Secrets of the Pharaohs: How the Kings of Ancient Egypt Can Help You Manage Your Team, Your Time, and Your 'Pyramids' More Effectively” by banker Mark Corrigan has been so instrumental in aiding the author's understanding of the pyramid scheme (which novices naïvely call “the economy”). Namely, that the era in which the Pharaohs lived “was so completely different from our own that almost all cultural, political and, particularly, business parallels we draw between the two eras [the Pharaonic era vs. modern times] are bound, by their very nature, to be wrong.”

This is to say that a subjective theory of economic value precludes the possibility of the evaluation schema of two or more people – or societies, for that matter – to be compared to one another in any real or objective way. Forget the vast differences between societies across time; we haven't even figured the sunspot cycle into our agricultural planning yet! This is chaos; The End is built into The Beginning. God is the only Constant; without God no Number has Value. God is coagulum; a Euclidean glue that holds all Value together.

But, not yet knowing whether the Messiah Will Be singular or collective, individuals cannot be rightfully excluded from the deity market, because, simply, any one of them might be God. And if God's body is for sale, You Better You Bet He should be allowed to make a bid. As long as He doesn't try to collude to set prices on Himself, God remains free to buy Himself back from the flames at any Time.

What do you think God's first bid on His own Corpse (corpus; body of work; the Holy Word; the Bible) would be?

Exactly how much silver is a “piece” of silver anyway? How much Time does silver take to Mine? How can it B Mine when it Leaves the Mine?

If our hearts are as good as gold, and the day is as precious as silver, than wood not twenty-nine and a half pieces of silver have sufficed as a ransom for this god; this Ransom To End All Ransoms^TM? This is the Value of the silvery Moon in the velvet sky if we count the days and count the ways, is it knot?

What is this star-studded night-cloth anyway, which is toss'd over our a planet like a dream-cover o'er a Birdcage? What, ho, more, even, is this cloud-covered dayscape (or Day's Cape), enveloping our heads in sunlight? Be ye not deceived! The Heavens are merely the eyelids of God. Would that they never drop, never reveal that Wizard behind the Curtain, lest our sins be in full sight of God, and bring Him dishonor. In a See of sin, we are drowning, and there is no island, because there is no eyelid.

That's right; the Heavens exist because of shame. What did Adam and Steve (which may or may not be short for Stephanie) cover their Genesis-Penises with? Leaves (ALB). Heaven. The Blood of Christ. Eyelids. The foreskin that covered the Eye, but which is now used as a wedding ring. Like Brother Lopez said, “It's the same shit.”

For we are all created in the image of God, and frankly, God can't stand the sight of Himself in The Mirror anymore. This is the source of His fractured identity, referred to by theologians as “trinity”, but by mental health professionals as “Dissociative Identity Disorder” (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder).

So if God doesn't even know how many people He is worth, then how can We know the Value of our Bread, the Value of our dear, deer Dough?

As Nietzsche recommended, if God does exist, it is necessary to kill Him. And so, we have.

It was a community decision, and nobody took blame nor credit; it was just something that We all decided that We had to do in order to move forward. Just like that Ken McElroy guy. And what could oppose Our Will? Nothing, only God.

How do you make a work of art (that is, Creation) more valuable, when no copies of it exist? You kill the artist, which, in this case, is God.

But how do you dispose of the evidence that you've killed God, when the entire face of the Earth is the Face of God? There's only one way: let everyone weigh-in on what God's Face is worth, and let them buy up little chunks of It, privatize It, and hide It away from everyone. Which, as You'll recall, is the best way to ensure its lasting value. I repeat: Is there anything more priceless and precious than something that has been destroyed? You don't know what you've got until you lose it.

And so, if you love God, then you must go it aloan. Just as you must not look for homies to back you up, but rather you must back yourself up, just as a resource backs a currency.

That is, your investments must be commensurate with, and backed by, the savings which you have stored up in your personal Heaven, your inner Sanctum. You must have faith in yourself, and give yourself credit, in order to back up Your Value, so that you have something to fall back on. It's basically the same kind of “trust fall” you'd do as a team-building exercise at a company retreat, except it's backwards off a cliff. They call this the Leap of Faith. And you must redeem yourself (for cash) before you go about lending yourself out to help others. Mortal investments must be backed by faith, but unlimited faith allows unlimited investment.

Although it seems counter-intuitive, to the experienced alchemist-economist, this should come as second nature. As easily as the ideas that human beings have no objective intrinsic worth, that making more of them dilutes their value, and that getting rid of them makes their value increase. It's a simple matter of $upply and Dem@nD. Human value is not objective, and therefore it is inestimable, except in a comparative context.

That's where the field of comparative labor necronomics come in. So bee there or B²!

Now it's getting interest-sting!

We all know, as has been foretold by the ancient prophecies – as well as having been “back-tell'd” in the more recent “backrophcies”, in which the prediction comes after the miracle – that humans only acquire Value through watching the Moon.

Human beings' praise for one-another? All Is Vanity!^(R) This praise provides no real appraisal of value. As the Moon is Our Witch, the Moon is Our Watch. She alone bewitches and Watches us, and She aloan grants and lends worthiness to mortal men. For our worth is measured by our worthiness. This is how superstition imbues value into an economy.

By now, if you can't read between the chicken bones, so to speak, then you probably never Will. To see this Truth is to walk; to moon another man to mock his sins. But to fully value the Moon, you must see the Many-Moon. By witch I mean that you must see the Mini-Moon (Asteroid 2016 HO3), a little and little-known satellite of Earth. For this is the full meaning of my Name; “God Wills it that the value of even the most insignificant hundredth of a cent shall be increased.”

That is how you enhance the value of the objects which inhabit and run this ol' celestial Skee-Ball game.

As I have blown a hole in the idea that There Can Be Only One Moon, and holes in our currency and in the reader's mind – and as the Earth and the Moon shall be pierced like a Fabergé egg, and then have their contents ejected, and then eventually crack – so too must we blow a hole in the Mini-Moon.

For, just as the currency-hole was created by interest (and inflation), so too did my interest in the subject help pry that zound open a little wider. To paraphrase Rabbi Kohan: “The egg has to crack; that's how the God gets in.” And in-flat-ion is what results when you pierce an object, deflate it, and flatten it. It's as natural as it is flatural.

As God has redeemed us, so too must we redeem God for all He is worth. Take Him for all he's worth – just like in the Divorce – as if the Face of God were free real estate. Just don't take Him at His Word. Take my god, please!

To make the Longest Story Ever Told short, the only way for God to ascend, is for us to free Him from the mortal coil which is His anchor and tether to human concerns, instead of His anchor to the Heavens which stakes His claim as their King. But, like a bag of sand taking the place of a golden idol, a sacrifice must be made in God's place.

Though before, ye have believed that the time of sacrifices were over, God demands yet another sacrifice (surprise), and an equal sacrifice in His place! But for the lack of another god, this problem would be easily remedied. :( That is why, to see what is equal to God, we must look to the planets. For they are the original gods; those wandering stars wondered about by starry-eyed ones who wander at Will as their starry eyes well as well.

And that is why we must handcuff the pierced Earth, Moon, and Mini-Moon to one another; into a holey cosmic matrimony. We must bind all the gods – our deities, our planets, our coins, and ourselves – to one another, in a sort of spiritual choker-necklace-turned-human-centipede. It is only through piercing the Moon that we may prevent the next Blood Supermoon – and the next Blood Super-Mini-Moon – lest it grow red with blood-mooney. Preventing these Blood Supersatellites will help keep Our Treasure Earth-Bound.

Basically, the ethereal Christmas tree needs a string of popcorn, donuts, and blood cells, in order to “lighten up”, and help God lighten up. For the Holy Word of God was scrawled upon the blood platelets of the Son even before His Holey Berth, and the Word is Light. If being the Light makes you light, then Jesus was probably pretty easy to tie down. Unfortunately, that doesn't help explain one bit why He never found a wife.

Anyway, we must Brobdingnagianly tie these planet-gods down, onto the Tree of Life – which is the True Cross, and also the Ethereal Insect Corpse Sample Collection Tray – and entymologically pin-down their Meanings, and the Value of their Word.

But the Word is also a Number.

Ludwig von Mises was, of course, wrong to assert that economics should not be left to “esoteric circles”. As I have previously explained, esoteric circles run our universe. And which circles are more esoteric than the orbits of the gods?

The Great Cosmic Arcade Game cannot continue to function so long as our coins, our planets, our gods, and ourselves do not have the same shape. Until then, they cannot be described as fully interchangeable with one another. And as has been elaborated, interchangeability is next to godliness; it's as close to God as you can get. It's As God As it Gets starring Jack Nickels-Sin.

All this, and more, is why God is a nickel. He stands alone, on a side that you always knew inside that He had but often forget, and proclaims three faces to the world; two Sides and an Edge. Just like the West African god Eleggua does with his hat – black on one side and red on the other - He presents two façades to the world, causing men on opposite sides to fight. All the while, He keeps His True Face hidden, never showing Himself for what He is; the only Face that any of Us are fighting over. And that is why God is the edgiest motherfucker of all time.

This is why the Catholics, to this Long Day, eat a nickel of grain to commemorate the death of the God That We Miss. That is why the Pierced Beef-Nickel (PBN on the stalker market) is the holyest currency of all, in part because most cows are raised on grain. Therefore PBN, as the sole Eucharist capable of forgiving sin and conferring spiritual value, is likely to become a durable and dominant worldwide currency wherever it is used (except in vegan communes, or the subcontinent of India).

This is why if you are not a jewel, then you can still be a coin.

A god that is not mass-manufactured cannot circulate. There's simply not enough god to go around! The only thing that can be easily mass-manufactured is murder, and murder not only keeps the blood flowing (like liquid, volatile current-sea), it raises the Worth of each person not murdered! So hold onto your head (caput) for Dear Life^TM, or else find something for people to exchange which is not murder, and witch has forborne the carnal Knowledge of blood.

As George Carlin explained, when human population was lower, “everybody had his own angel”, but also that, with population increase, the angel-to-human ratio has, sadly, plummeted. Ironically, one would think that religion, being designed for mass consumption by huge populations (just like capitalism), would have some way to get around this problem. That's where icon worship enters the mix. But unfortunately, the presses just can't print communion wafers quickly enough to satisfy demand. People need those things every darn Weak!

For a while, this icon-worship of an edible currency made of Christ's flesh was a good enough way to re-present the original god who backed the currency with His Life. But eventually, speculation that He did not actually exist in tangible fully-backed assets led to volatility in the deity market, and caused the value of the stock we put in our beliefs to plummet.

According to the coroner's report, this was also caused by injections of questioning, apprehension, and dying physical matter by a central board that lacked legitimate authority. Onto this central board was mounted another board, affixed to it perpendicularly with several nails.

And We all know what happened next. Or do We?

God is right there in your heart, and right there in your pocket! Are you gonna pretend you don't know how He got there!?

Remember: your god is your property. He can only become yours by taking Him back into your Own (hands). If you don't fight back when people claim that your property is worthless, then the theoskeptics win. And that is why you must never fight back, but Give 2 Those Who Ask You^®. Even if they ask for the coordinates of your god, your greatest Treasure.

You must guard the physical body of God (i.e., our money), but also reveal Truths about Him to whomever asks. Even though He repeatedly warned us not to tell a living soul about Him; this was only a test. Had there been a real deity shortage, you would have been informed as to where to take shelter behind an occult veil of secrecy in your area. And just as A Mighty Fortress is Our God, there is no better shelter and cover than the Lord's loving arms.

Except to be covered by His delicious, nutritious blood.

For the Blood that pours out of the Grand Skee-Ball Game – which, as the Clock of the Universe, and the Clock of the Heart, makes the planets run on time – is the Blood from the Hand which God got caught in the Eternal Vending Machine of Immortality. Rumor has it, He was trying to Fish coins out of the machine, as if His Hand were the Claus in a claw game, and Rob all the Worth out of the Arcade to give to the mortals. Like a Robbin' Hood thing.

A complete exegesis of biblical scripture (and Kevin Smith films) will reveal that God frequently gets lost in arcades, from not being able to differentiate any particular game from the ones that humans are playing with each other all the time. For those who have not yet had their fill of the Tree of Knowledge, the Cosmic Coin Counter runs the Eternal Pinball Game, which runs the Cosmic Clock of the Solar System. All of this takes place within the Ancient Arcane Arcade, which we are foolish enough to call “the Universe”.

For some literally obscure reason, “mortals” (dubious) wish to play a game with our gods, and pit them against the Lion and against Nature. But Life is not a game. And so, we must refrain from playing The Game^TM to begin with, by playing The Game^TM, while releasing ourselves from the secondary Game of trying to hold onto our value. That's because we must be Willing to depart with that Value in order to assist this debilitated, trapped God, to do His Will byproxy, like some sort of Divine Last Will and Testament.

This is to say that we must rescue God from the Cosmic Arcade; the Bank Vault of the Heavens, the Crypt full of change in the Vending Machine of Immortality.

We must sacrifice one of our own coins to, quite literally, get God out of the machine (deus ex machina). For a God that needs to be repeatedly rescued and re-rescued and re-skewed and re-schism'd, is of utmost Value; it is as pretty as a Peach. If you love your coin, let it go; if the machine returns it, you'll know it was meant to Be. Mamma mia!

But before we can get God out of the machine, we must first get our heads out of the machine, get our heads out of the gutter, and get our heads out of the oven (same thing). This is why – whether it's Fitcoin or Sweatcoin, Shitcoin, Shitecoin, We Are Precious In His Sight-Coin, or 54°40'-Or-Fight-Coin – currencies that touch blood will never suffice as cryptocurrencies; for the simple reason that they've never even been inside a crypt.

Just as meat mustn't be taken from an animal while it is still alive, neither may blood, nor value, unless the animal gives assent (a cent). Just as the value of a sigil-currency often lies in its non-possession, the value of cryptocurrencies that touch blood (like Shitcoin) always lies in its non-possession.

But Jesus has been inside a crypt. And Milton Friedman, being the only one who has successfully peered through the camel-eye-plank-hole in our currency, $€€$ that yes, indeed, He does have an exit strategy, and did the whole time. Like Churchill said, “If you find yourself going through Hell, keep going.” The only way out is through. ...Through the treasure room.

And the true treasure lies in your chest, your own Heaven. That is to say, the only way out is through the Sacred Heart, which acts as the womb-tomb in which the Dead God grows while dying.

And that is why the Sacred Heart must be pierced; for the sake of Appreciation.

That God does not understand money should not surprise us any more than that the president does not understand money. Human beings' difficulty understanding money lies in deciphering God's views through His mad scrawlings, which is unfortunate, because consulting their pineal glands often works just as well or better.

The simpler the creature, the easier for it to comprehend money. Our monkey-prostitute ancestors “understood” (stood-under) this, in the same way that they stood underneath the electrified banana in the famous ladder experiment. To stand under the banana is to obey the banana. As far as we know, non-human animals do not believe in, nor value, money; but some of them have resigned themselves to accepting it as a fact of human life, and as a fact of living around humans. Just like we have!

But what can monkey-prostitutes tell us about the nature of God, and of mon(k)ey? A better question would be What can't they tell us? It all depends on whether the monkey-prostitutes in question can talk. For “God”, as we all know, is an anagram for “dog”; the words share gematric value (or at least they do in the anguished language of English). But the map is not the territory. Dog knows how easily money flows from the Hallowed Ground.

According to various reports from early 2018, in Colombia, a black Labrador retriever dog named Negro has been purchasing cookies for years, obtaining them from a cafeteria at the Diversified Technical Education Institute of Monterrey Casanare. How does he do it? He presents a leaf, usually a green one. Evidently, the dog saw humans obtaining cookies after they gave up something flat, green, and made out of an Earth-material. And that's when a good boy became a great boi, and also an entrepreneur: “I know where to get tons of those!”

This dumb animal has single-pawedly shattered everything we know about money; his simple discovery ought to bring shame to each and every one of us who didn't think of it first. I mean, if Kendall Jenner can hear “Money doesn't grow on trees” and immediately come back with “Yes it does, it's paper”, then how is it that the rest of us have held onto this false Little B-Leaf (ALB) for so long? Of course money grows on trees; just like a god grows on a cross, which is made out of trees. So God grows on trees.

Sadly, the staff of the cafeteria reacted to Negro's ingenuity – and to the virtually unlimited supply of leaves to which he has access – by limiting his purchases to several cookies per diem, thus ensuring our financial doom. Which begs the questions: Can we all make purchases with dog leaves? Most importantly of all, what happens when the dog leaves?

Verily, we must keep this stupid doG, who can't even fucking talk, alive forever with a robotic exoskeleton, and give him a Nobel Prize in Economics. If He dies, we eat Him to gain his purchasing power, just like God said to do with His body when He died. Investing in this project now will yield plentiful R.O.I. (not to be confused with rai).

We might also want to take a look at his taxes.

If Negro's method of monetary expansion does not earn him the job of next Chairman of the Federal Reserve, then perhaps it really is time to look to China for the answer, and adopt as our new currency a set of live animals trapped inside small plastic bags, fashioned into keychains. The Chinese say that the sale of these toys has boosted their economy; so imagine how much good it would do them to adopt this into their basket of official currencies (which includes the Yuan, the Renminbi, and Hong Kong and Macau dollars).

Maybe if a populous country like China were to take that first step, it could inch the animal-bags closer to becoming a world reserve currency! Then each of us could have a Lamb In A Bag^TM, and keep them in little pockets we can sew onto our shoulders, to trade as we please! We could literally put live stock in our beliefs, by wearing our faith on our sleeves! The Bible makes it quite clear: The Lamb is the only Source of Worth, the only Source of Value; but only as long as its Value stays free-floating near thirty pieces of silver, no ewe-sury allowed.

So don't dilute your currency; delude your thinking in order to induce trance states!

Specifically, buy in (Now^TM) to the delusion that the tides of the waters in our bodies (vessels) are controlled by Luna and Neptune. That the blood flowing through your blood vessels renders your body a mass of land Crossed by rivers. That, being mostly water, the body is permeable to thought, which is electric. That others' thoughts and unheard words float through the æther, and electrocute us, causing our ears to burn. That water or light, electrocuted by and to a slow vibration, will become as solid as a currency and as Solid As A Rock. That a single whim can give rise to a whole life or a whole Arcade (Universe), or that one wandering thought can poison the mind and pollute the day.

That vegetables, being even more of water than humans are, have their Worth controlled by the Moon even more. That the Moon is more valuable when it is full, and so are the many creatures whose tides it governs. And those creatures – those animals whom we think below us, simply because they are short – they know it.

The Moon is a giant dreidel. Which face does it show to you?

Read Jung and the Bhagavad Gita, then ask yourself which anima(l) you see in the Mirror.

Now we are beginning to ¢ the importance of listening to, having star(t)ing contests with, and, yes, making love to, our witch's familiars, in order to regain the carnal (i.e., meaty) understanding of Nature which Men have lost.

Think on the Lilies of the Field (2 B confused with the 1963 Sidney Poitier film of the same name, for a lily by any other name is the same shit). As we can infer from Matthew 6:26-29, rats don't give one of their own asses about money, because they don't consider anything but the four classical elements (Earth, Water, Air, and Fire) to be currency. That's because those classical elements make up all food, or else cook it.

Essentially, most of our pets don't use money, or understand money differently from the way we do, such that, when we feed them, they think we're paying them. But that doesn't mean that a cookie-loving black lab or a capuchin prostitute won't pretend to use currency, or can't be tricked into using currency, respectively. ...Look it up.

During a backrophcy, it's normal to be unsure what you're seeing, and even what time frame it's happening in, and what vantage point you're seeing it from. But Hark Like a Lark!^®; Right before us, we are seeing the birth and the end of the Arcade at once; the in-holding of the crown-molding of the crowd-funding of the Unfolding (that is, Revelaymond).

This Anubis-like dog Negro is George Clintonianly chasing the cat Sphinx, inciting and inviting it to catch the Phoenix. After Nut nutted into the Nile and birthed all Creation and all Water, Negro's actions were those which precipitated the rise of all economaieutic wisdom which cum'd into the Arcade. If you want to literally “make money”, cum on a video game.

Hey, it's like they always say, if the Phoenixian partridge-cartridge isn't working, blow on it. If Jesus and Kanye can both T-pose on a cross while making love to other gay fi$h, then why should that stop you? It's not like they're immortal or anything.

Or are they? More importantly, have you ever seen them together in the same room at the same time?

What am I getting at? I'm glad you finally asked. The Shibbolethic Talisman.

First, the shibboleth.

A shibboleth is a word, slogan, phrase, or catch-phrase, that serves as a “watch-word”, “test-word”, or “test-phrase”. It can also refer to a cliché, truism, platitude, manner of speaking, speech pattern, accent, behavior, or mode of dress. Shibboleth additionally refers to some quality or characteristic which is viewed as outdated or outmoded, and empty of meaning. A shibboleth is perceived, and used, as a test, to distinguish someone, often according to class, nation, language, profession, or faith.

The Bible alludes to the shibboleth in Judges 12:5-6. Judge Jephthah and his men of Gilead told a group of Ephraimites, supposedly refugees, to pronounce the word “shibboleth”. Their inability to pronounce the “sh” sound correctly gave them away as invading impostors. The Ephraimites pronounced the word as “sibboleth” because of their lack of familiarity with the Hebrew word, which means “ear of grain”. The use of the word shibboleth for that purpose, led to the word shibboleth being adopted as the term used to denote the test-phrase.

Aside from serving as a linguistic distinction between two peoples, the pronunciation difference itself serves to reveal the speaker's degree of depth of understanding of the meaning of the greater concept attached to the word; and, moreover, the speaker's appreciation of the value which that full understanding of the word holds. Essentially, the shibboleth is the key to assigning Value and Worth to individuals according to their ability to understand the words that are comin' outta my mouth.

An etymological analysis of the usages of the word in Scripture reveals that to the ancient Hebrews, the word shibboleth carried the meaning of “ear of corn”, “ear of grain”, or “spike of grain”, in addition to meaning water, flood, stream, channel, or branch. This volatile (i.e., watery) additional meaning might seem like a connotation rather than a denotation to the novice, but it makes perfect sense if you have seen a close-up image of the vessels in a leaf, next to an aerial view of the “arteries” of the highway, looping around a city, and if you know that water and nutrients flow through a seemingly solid branch (zemach).

We as Americans ought to understand this better than anyone, as our national anthems and Americana theater are filled to the brim with songs of “amber waves of grain” and “the waving wheat can sure smell sweet”. We, with our “sea to shining sea” of wheat and grain and corn, should sea that the crops, being more Water than We, are more moved by the tides of Mother Moon than We ®. Which, of course, is why we eat them to acquire their Value. And we as Americans ought to know how converting grain to a liquid makes it easier and cheaper to transport across the land. So get drunk and fuck with a sigil, Jesus built a distillery in His stomach!

This is to say that the Ephraimites' understanding of the word shibboleth caused them to view food (particularly grain) as something solid, and as a burden that must be carried across the land, while the Hebrews understood that the crops flow freely from the land like water from a spring. Food is not something that really needs to be carefully stored away; I mean, throw some seeds by the wayside, dump your leftovers on top of it, and see what comes up. I ב you'll have meals for meal-ennia!

Once we understand that the crops and our food are gifts that spring from all corners of Creation, rather than a burden which is difficult and expensive to transport to those who need it, we can, to rephrase the admonitions of Brother Sam, “put people closer to where the fucking food is”.

So if you can't lead the horse to water, lead the water to the horse.

Corns are coins. Haven't you ever heard of ear-igation?

The talisman, on the other hand – as anyone familiar with magick will recall – is a seal, sigil, symbol, logo, figure, character, or image, used as a good luck charm, such as an amulet, medallion, or rosary.

Traditionally, “talisman” refers to a charmed image, carved under superstitious observance or ritual, which bears representations of observances of the configurations of the Heavens. Stones and metals associated with particular planets are often used as talismans, or as components of talismans, in order to manifest the most accurate symbolic representation of the heavenly bodies being conveyed, through manifesting the most accurate visual and material representation of those objects. This practice is thought to charge the object with the full force or power which the heavenly body is thought to possess.

All I'm really getting at is that a talisman can be used as a sigil as long as the sigil re-presents the talisman adequately, and that the talisman can be used as a shibboleth if its use or possession can be utilized to distinguish people. Only by comprehending this, may we bring the Shibbolethic Talisman to bear as a Holey Money, representing the unrepresentable; itself. ...In court.

The Mark has many meanings, largely determined by zoning. If on the forehead, palm, or wrist, the Value may be different; the meaning of the Mark must be inquired of the bearer alone, and no Øne else. So too might a holey hand, a holey head, a holey wrist, or a black hole on the center of the Palm, mean something else. But a hand held aloft – in question, rather than in statement or command – this is our Shibbolethic Talisman; this is our currency. For, whether the hand is empty or holey, it is empty enough to communicate the meaning of the gesture. For, though the hand be empty, the gesture is not. The meaning of an empty hand is understood by all.

This fulfills Gandhi's requirement regarding of what purpose the talisman should serve, namely, that it serve some purpose to the poorest among us.

For what poor person lacks both hands, and lacks holes in his hands? He who is without hands, having no hand-water and thus not touching blood, may be put to work as a rial currency, for, lacking hands, he cannot throw the first stone, so he may as well know that he has sinned. And that is why, as Jodorowski made clear, he without arms will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Grab that vinegar, we just gotta relieve that stigmata!

It is appointed unto men, once and only once, to die. But You, being of water, are in flux. If your personality dies once, then your oath is fulfilled, and you are released.

But that puts a Juju priest out of a job.

What is Coming is a Harvest of Men. As prayer is a form of insurance against the Divine not existing (for it is like a bet that it does), our sacred vestments are investments. As such, they should be our most valuable (and, if need be, only) possessions, for they, in covering us, are like God and his tasty blood.

For Eternal Meaning and Value are the Secrets which we Confess to the Great Celestial Accountant, whose name is the Angel Gematria, the Queen B of the jibber-jabber of geometry. Her Guardian Angel is the Recording Angel MatthewTron (the Artist Formerly Known as Metatron), Sparrow Fashionista.

Verily I say unto Thou that Her Name – the fullest Value of each and every one of the many Characters of Her Fullest Name – means “To Save A Coat”. And, just like someone who's half-insane and trying to read the Bible backwards and upside-down, I discovered this after looking at the matter from every possible angle.

But in witch gematria? Better break out your gematria tables, it's gonna be a Long Night.

And that is why, to this Day, Jesus always stays at Double Tree.

That'll be $11.65.

Shut the fuck up.

Written on May 8^th, 9^th, and 11^th through 13^th, 2018
Edited on May 15th, 2018